April 24, 2005

Griffey Says, ‘Bolt Em All Down’

MIAMI, FL -- Ken Griffey, Jr. announced that he would be undergoing extensive preventive surgery to reinforce all of his major tendons' connection to their respective bones. The surgery will take place when the team returns to Cincinnati on May 2.

Griffey underwent such a surgery in August 2004 to use titanium screws to reattach his right hamstring tendon that had pulled free from the bone. Though experiemental, the procedure appears to have been successful, resulting in the longest injury-free span for Griffey since he came to play in Cincinnati in 2000.

“I'm getting tired of people asking me if I'm OK,” said Griffey, “You guys have nothing to worry about. Titanium doesn't rust.”

Unfortunately, though the surgery has stopped the constant flow of injuries, recovery from the surgery has left Griffey hitting just .203 with no homeruns in 2005.

“I don't have anything I can compare my last surgery to, and I think people have sort of forgotten that,” Griffey said, “This recovery is tough, and I don't ever want to have to do it again. If I just go ahead and have all the tendons bolted down now, I can recover from them all at once and get it over with.”

Questions remain about whether reinforcing tendons can really help Griffey acheive his previous levels of greatness. “I'm confident that the procedure will return Griffey to the condition of a 25-year old,” said Reds' Medical Director Dr. Tim Kremchek, “And in case it doesn't, we're already working on a device that most certainly will: a time machine.”

Barring complications, Griffey is expected to be ready to play again in August. “We'll miss him,” said Manager Dave Miley, “But at least we'll be able to get some at-bats for some of our guys who are actually hitting.”

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