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2005
Dunn Gets ‘King’-Size Chair
By Amanda
ST LOUIS, MO -- After pushing down and sitting on Cardinals' reliever Ray King today, Adam Dunn called King “comfy” and had him sent to Cincinnati to replace his old massage chair.
Dunn originally intended to sit on King as an act of retribution for King's collision with Austin Kearns in May of 2003. The collision at home plate caused Kearns a torn labrum and rotator cuff, injuries that started a long series of health problems that have shelved the highly anticipated outfielder for the better part of two years.
However, the sitting upon turned from vengeful to cozy when Dunn realized how similar to an overstuffed armchair King actually is.
“He's soft and kind of bouncy,” explained Dunn. “And if you get him laughing, it's sort of like the vibrating chair was.”
But what of the long awaited retribution for injuring Kearns?
“We'll just have to destroy the Cards tonight for that,” said Dunn.
I’d like to see someone try to take on Ray King. They’d get a slider somewhere painful, toot sweet.
June 29th, 2005 at 4:52 pm
Ok, I guess you’re playing softball. Here’s what has happened. Nothing in the first. Pena hit an absolute BOMB to center in the 2nd (2-0). Then the Reds CF misplayed a ball and Reggie got a double. Walker hits a laser to right. Tie game. Then the SS made an error, then he made another and a run scored. Morris bunted, Eckstein grounded out, but drove in a run. 4-2, after two.
June 29th, 2005 at 5:48 pm
Thanks for the update. I’m back now: the Reds are welcome to stop stinking up the place now.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:04 pm
Did you win? More importantly, was a good time had by all?
And Larry just had an injection into his neck, so he’s bionic tonight.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:06 pm
We thought we were playing the Cardinals, the lower-level team, but in fact we were playing the Rebels, our ringer team, so no. We did not win.
We did, however, have a 4-run inning against them, a double play, I didn’t walk or hit anyone: plenty of highlights for the stars. Plus, our real pitcher is supposed to show up for our game next week.
w00t! Go Wags!
June 29th, 2005 at 6:09 pm
It’s too bad you didn’t win, but sounds like it was a well played game. No walks is very good. How’s your WHIP?
June 29th, 2005 at 6:13 pm
Pretty bad. Like I said, it was our ringer team, so pretty much every hit out of the infield. I hope to get a proper game wrap up tomorrow, if I can make any sense of our scorekeeping. Jon even got some pictures tonight.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:17 pm
Ok, this is getting a little too sewing circle-ish.
Your line couldn’t be worse than the one Ortiz put up tonight.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:20 pm
The stench off your sweaty team and crappy play musta been too distracting for him.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:23 pm
Yeah, running around the bases so much does make one sweat.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:24 pm
So does swinging out of your shoes.
As you would say, ‘have a seat, Mr. Edmonds."
June 29th, 2005 at 6:26 pm
Eh, *I* could strike out Jimmy. Not so much of an accomplishment.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:27 pm
I’ll take what I can get.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:30 pm
Ah, Encarnación: our future at third.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:31 pm
They showed a graphic, is he really 0-fer-2005?
June 29th, 2005 at 6:34 pm
That sounds about right to me. And offense is his *strong* suit.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:36 pm
Oh, dear. That’s scary.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:38 pm
Enough with the curtain calls.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:41 pm
Everyone else is very excited about him. I keep hoping that I’ll see what they’re seeing. To be fair, he hasn’t seen much time at this level yet, but still.
C’mon, your guys are the biggest freakin’ offense in the world. They ought to be able to touch Stone. What’s the deal?
June 29th, 2005 at 6:41 pm
Who allowed the Reggie HR?
June 29th, 2005 at 6:43 pm
Which one?
June 29th, 2005 at 6:44 pm
Tonights.
Ooooh! Our back up catcher drinks the same water I like!
June 29th, 2005 at 6:46 pm
Sorry; I’m dizzy from watching all of them.
C’mon, guys. Don’t leave Lopez hanging.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:48 pm
Stranded…
June 29th, 2005 at 6:51 pm
Oh well; I guess that means that Lopez is officially hung.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:52 pm
Hey, he stole a base off Yadi. That’s a big deal.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:54 pm
Crap: I hope I had Edmonds playing on my fantasy team. I probably did; Freel’s hurt so I’ve had to play those people who have been sucking lately.
Maybe we should get you pitching for the Reds. You’d apparently be better than Stone.
June 29th, 2005 at 6:57 pm
Naw, I have Steve Blass Disease (the same thing Ankiel has). Can’t pitch anymore. Actually, maybe I *should* pitch for the Reds.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:00 pm
Beer time.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:06 pm
At least you wouldn’t give up so many homeruns.
Go LaRue. Man, does he ever look good sweaty.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:06 pm
I’ll have to go back to the TiVo to check out if LaRue is attractive. But you know who looks good even sweaty? Chris Carpenter.
Shackleford? Are we on an expidetion to the poles? Oh, that was Shackleton.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:11 pm
I’m considering a hunger strike until the Reds win a road series. I would look great for swimsuit season, though I might not survive the baseball season.
Beer. I need one more than you do, I bet.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:11 pm
Hmmm. That’s not a bad idea, though I would reverse it, of course. Would do my new bikini well, I think.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:17 pm
Carpenter’s not too bad, for a Card. Tall for my particular taste, but not bad all-in-all.
Brian "Love" Shackleford on an expedition to the foul poles.
It was a short expedition.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:17 pm
Oh my. Mulder’s doing a Got Milk? commercial.
The Cardinals’ rotation is very tall.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:21 pm
OK, it’s the 8th. If I don’t put down some serious smack now, I won’t have another chance until September!
Some of you outfield might have keeled over from old age by then!
June 29th, 2005 at 7:30 pm
(At least I should have some new material by September.)
June 29th, 2005 at 7:32 pm
Wow, is it really until September? Yikes. Ummm…the Reds stink.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:33 pm
We should smack talk a neutral game between now and September. It’s much easier to make fun of teams you don’t care about.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:35 pm
Are you saying you care about the Reds? How sweet. I’ve gotta say, with as much as I’ve learned about the Cards preparing for these smack sessions, I…no. I’ll just stop.
How ’bout a Cubs game? That could be good fun.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:37 pm
I care about the Reds in the sense that they are the competition and could be *very* dangerous on any given day.
Yadi’s at first? What the hell?
A Cubs game sounds like an excellent idea.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:42 pm
Oh, lord. Cali’s in.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:45 pm
Oh, yeah. I remember this Cali character. Good times.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:45 pm
There’s his sac fly.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:49 pm
Can you get all those games? Here’s the [url=http://chicago.cubs.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/schedule/index.jsp?c_id=chc&m=7&y=2005]Cubs schedule[/url]
Holy crap! There’s your headline. Smart money says that shows up on Baseball Tonight.
June 29th, 2005 at 7:49 pm
That’s a Winner!
I’ve got Extra Innings and mlb radio, so I get all of the games. Now the quesstion is, should we do an intradivision game or when they play someone from the east or west?
June 29th, 2005 at 7:55 pm
It would be easiest for me to smack someone familiar. I’m going to have to do a lot of research either way, though.
June 29th, 2005 at 8:00 pm
The only time in July the Cubs play in the Central, I’m on vacation.
I suppose we could do the All-Star Game.
June 29th, 2005 at 8:08 pm
Well, it *is* an event that deserves something special. Do you already have a lot to do over the All-Star Break, though? Didn’t you say you were gonna re-do the watchability factors?
June 29th, 2005 at 8:14 pm
Yeah, but those aren’t very hard to do. And the Cards have an extra day off after the break. Other than that, my only other plans for those days is to watch the celebrity softball game. For some reason, I love it.
June 29th, 2005 at 8:24 pm
Sounds like a date then. And we’ll be on the same side for a change. That ought to be interesting.
June 29th, 2005 at 8:26 pm
Right on. As long as Piazza isn’t telling the AL hitters what’s coming, should be an interesting game.
June 29th, 2005 at 8:31 pm