Cardinals Vocabulary
By
Amanda
Posted at 7:28 pm
If you made it out to Deadspin today, you probably saw this tidbit in which Will made “Isringhausen” into a verb:
3. Junior Mint. It is our belief that Ken Griffey Jr. will play until he's 60, owing to all the time spent on the sidelines due to injury. He's like the collectible action figure that you never take out of the box. On Monday at New Busch, Griffey Isringhausened the Cardinals, hitting a three-run homer in the ninth to give the Reds an 8-7 win. He also had a solo homer earlier in the game, tying a major league record by homering in his 43rd stadium.
Making Cardinals names into regular words is a great idea. See if you can work these words into your regular vocabulary:
Eckstein, n.
1. Any of various small, monochromatic mammals having long teeth for gnawing and a nervous, twitchy nature, such as a lab rat or Guinea pig.
2. A person regarded as twitchy or annoying.
Example: My blind date was cute enough, but things went sour when I realized he was an Eckstein.
Pujols, v.
1. To lie about one's age, often used with “pulled a.”
Example: When the cute waiter asked what birthday she was celebrating, she pulled a Pujols and said she was 29.
Edmonds, adj.
1. Full of playful allure, esp. expressing a coquettish nature through dress, make-up, and hair.
Example: Ryan knew he could get some play from the Edmonds chick.
Nothing goes better with an ice-cold Dunner than Snax. Yay Dunner!
Cards broadcasters.
I’m getting tired of our bullpen this series.
They’ve said it on FSN now. Thank you.
To sum up for those just joining us: it’s the top of the seventh, the Reds are up by 5, the last two runs thanks to a Dunner home run, and Josh Hancock is kinda sucking.
To be fair, he’s been pitching a lot the past few days. Much more than April or May. But yes, sucking.
Ah, so your park is completed now? Tried out the new seats yet?
Haven’t been over to the new seats yet. There was a fire in that left field tower a few weeks ago; someone lit a box on fire. La Russa called the press box to get someone to put it out.
Found at the scene of the crime: Red Hot Mama matces.
The St. Louis Police Department will want to have a word with you.
I think the guy in front of the broadcasters’ booth just barfed.
The game’s not [em]that[/em] bad.
Nah, but the beer is. I wonder how much George Clooney gets paid to advertise said swill.
These one-sided games are tough to smack. Hmmm…let’s see. If you could have one of the Reds take you out for a romantic evening, which one would it be?
Well, considering his nickname, perhaps Dunn? Even though he’s not terribly attractive.
Hey-fan interference!!
Go not-so-ice-cold Dunner! Glad I made that joke while I had the chance.
Well, Dunn is one of the single ones. So at least you wouldn’t have to deal with a jealous wife.
I see that Thompson is the sacrificial lamb tonight.
Not so worried about the wife; they’re probably in Arizona anyway 😉
Rick White Flag? How many times do we have to see this guy suck before they stop running him out there?
Narron must be committed to making this game more of a contest.
Don’t worry, the Cardinals couldn’t hit an elephant.
Your boys look like they just want to get it over with.
And now it is. I can’t believe White didn’t give up 8 runs.
Jebus. We suck.
Oh man, the Cards are so pathetic they couldn’t get a baserunner off of Rick White. Their lineup is useless without Pujols.
Easy, Geki. They’re not as experienced at losing as we are.
Normally no. Rolen and Edmonds would remind you that they do know how to hit. Even Encarnacion is useful. The team’s just in a funk.
Heh, Chris just said “hooty-hoo.”
It’s not as bad as all that, Ms. Scratcher. You didn’t lose to the 2005 Reds over here. You’re looking at the soon-to-be leaders of the division.
And we have been hit very hard by injuries. Edmonds has a sports hernia, Yadi’s got an achy shoulder, Eckstein’s only had one day off. Rolen’s still coming back from his two surgeries. It’s not like we’re at full strength only missing Albert.
Ok, it’s bed time. The Proxy is going to the game tomorrow, so I will be uninterruped by dinner or laundry.
Yeah. See, Geki?
Sounds great. I’ll be a little late due to Special O softball practice, but I’ll be around in time to see the Reds join the Cards in first.
Sounds like you’re making excuses, Ms. Scratcher. Everyone knows Juan Encarnacion is a bum, and Eckstein is overachieving, so that one-day-off thing doesn’t really fly. Edmonds should probably just retire (or get hit by a bus), and Rolen’s never gonna be the same power hitter (I know these things). And I can’t believe you just tried to make an excuse for why [i]Yadier Molina[/i] can’t hit. Harharharhar.