So, those Reds traded Ryan Freel, eh? Might actually be a decent move, I suppose, but against the backdrop oft he cluster that is Dusty Baker’s management, it’s hard to see this move as anything other than more of said cluster.

In any event, the massive level of annoyance that it aroused in the Red Hot Household was enough to shake us from our three-month long podcasting malaise. This ought to motivate us for at least a couple months, at which time I guess they’ll have to trade Brandon Phillips to the Nationals in order to raise my ire enough to create more audio content.

Warning: The word “fuck” appears in the following quip about three dozen times. If you’re offended by such language, well, that’s your own fault for coming to Red Hot Mama when the Reds trade Freel.

You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re telling me that Ryan “Adored by every woman in Cincy” Freel was traded, and his name didn’t even make it to the motherfucking headline on Reds.com?

But other than that, spot on trade, idiots. Dusty Baker never liked Freel, and if theres one thing we’ve fucking learned this year, it’s that Baker fucking knows best. And halleluja that they sent him off to get another fucking catcher. God knows that the Reds can’t do without sixteen fucking catchers at a time. Just can’t fill the fucking void after the Cardinals salvaged LaRue. Just can’t seem to bounce back after the fucking Bench years.

Not to worry, though. David fucking Weathers will be back next year to keep things interesting. Gary Majewski will be there to put butts in the fucking seats. I can’t wait to tune in to see fucking Alex Gonzalez be injured. It’ll be fucking compelling baseball.

Overall, though, I like the trade. I bet Hernandez is going to be a real fucking asset.

You’d probably like the details. Here’s the important parts of the story on Reds.com:

LAS VEGAS — The Reds on Tuesday completed a trade in which they acquired catcher Ramon Hernandez from the Orioles for utility player Ryan Freel and two prospects.

Baltimore will also receive Reds infield prospects Brandon Waring and Justin Turner. Cincinnati is believed to be receiving $1 million in cash from the Orioles in the deal.

Hernandez is slated to make $8 million in 2009, with a 2010 club option worth $8.5 million and a $1 million payment.

Freel is scheduled to make $4 million next season.

Dammit. This sucks.

Red Hot Mama extends our heartiest congratulations to Ryan Freel for his latest honor, being inducted into the hall of fame of his alma mater, the Tallahassee Community College. Not too many people can say they’ve gotten that particular recognition, I bet.

It’s always an honor to be recognized, even when it’s not for being one of Florida’s best-dressed. With that shirttail sticking out, though, Freel looks like he might have been working on that, too.

Via

I don’t normally approve of just reposting large blocks of text written by someone else, but I’m going to have to make an exception this time because there is nothing I could say here that would improve on what’s already written. To make it perfectly clear, this was written by Mark Sheldon at Reds.com:

Mind-bending catch: Not surprisingly, right fielder Ryan Freel’s spectacular diving catch on the warning track Tuesday night vs. St. Louis remained a buzzworthy topic Wednesday. It was also prominently featured on television highlight shows.Freel robbed Albert Pujols of a likely two-run extra-base hit in the fifth inning. Although the Reds won by a 10-3 score, it was a potentially game-saving play because Pujols represented the tying run at the time.

When he got home after Tuesday’s game, Freel admitted to watching himself make the catch on TV. Apparently, he wasn’t completely alone during the viewings.

“I thought it was pretty neat watching that play. That was a good catch, Ryan,” Freel said. “The midget in my head is named Farney. ‘Hey Farney, I don’t know if that was you that caught the ball, but it was pretty good if it was you.’”

And for clarification, who is Farney again?

“He’s the little guy in my head who I talk to, and I talk to him,” Freel said. “Everyone thinks I talk to myself, so I tell them I’m talking to Farney.”

So there’s a guy even smaller than Freel in Freel’s head? Damn that Eckstein!

Freel’s mugshot after his 2005 opening day arrest for DUI. Photo via www.nbc4i.com

Freel’s mugshot after his 2006 bachelor party arrest for disorderly intoxication. Photo via www.sportslegal.us

Freel appearing in court in 2005. So that’s what he looks like in a suit! Photo via cintinow.com

Ryan and his wife, Christie. Photo mine from Baseball 101.

I thought I ought to get an actual game photo in here too. Not sure where this photo is from; probably AP.

Special thanks to the following Web sites for providing knowledge above-and-beyond the normal stats. Go visit them for more information:

• Ryan Freel’s Player Profile on Cincinnati Reds: The Official Site
• No position too difficult for these guys on espn.com
• Reds’ Ryan Freel Arrested On DUI Charge on WCPO.com
• Freel Pleads Guilty To Drunken Driving on ChannelCincinnati.com
• Freel Reds’ man of skills But he lacks spot to call his own on The Cincinnati Enquirer
• Utility man’s energy gives him shot at Opening Day roster on The Cincinnati Enquirer
• Daugherty: Freel knows no limits on The Cincinnati Enquirer
• White eager to take mound: HERE YE, HERE YE on The Cincinnati Enquirer

When you select a player’s jersey to wear, you’re honoring that player, but you’re also sending a message to the world about yourself. When you elect to don #6, you’re telling the world that you appreciate passion, energy, and a can-do attitude. You’re saying that you aren’t afraid of embarassement, pain, or hefty emergency room bills. You’re saying that you don’t wait around for things to happen; you make your own destiny.

Or, at least, that you wish you could do those things.

When Ryan Freel started making regular appearances in 2004, it seemed to me that this guy was key to the Reds. It wasn’t just that he could play anywhere, it was also that he brought intensity that inspired action in others. It was obvious to me that finding him playing time was essential to the team’s success. In fact, it was so obvious to me that I couldn’t believe it when they didn’t manage to find him that playing time to start the 2005 season; it was like they’d forgotten everything they’d learned in 2004. I think it’s clear that they’re better off having found that time for him now.

On the field, Freel is spectacular to watch because he lays it all out, puts every ounce of his being into the game, utterly without fear of failure and seemingly without knowledge of how difficult that is for most people to do. Often he is a hero; sometimes he is a goat. But even if he’s thrown out stealing second a half-dozen times tonight, you can bet he’ll still try it again tomorrow if the opportunity presents itself.

People say Freel is great to watch because of the specific things he does: a fantastic defensive play or a daring suicide squeeze. But the real thrill is in watching someone do what you always secretly wanted to do: put yourself on the line, risk it all, dare great things, get knocked down and get back up, and, in the end, see your goals realized.

Off the field, Freel seems like he doesn’t know what to do with his role in the public eye. He gets the rush off actually performing the feats, not the accolades that people heap on him for them later. His reticence in the limelight comes off as shy modesty, which makes him all the more endearing, which prompts even more accolades.

If you derive any of your baseball appreciation from watching athletic men in their prime perform acts of derring do in flattering pants, then you’ll find plenty to appreciate in Freel. He’s got a great evocative mannerism where he tips the dirt out of his belt after diving head-first. Keep an eye out for it after a pick-off attempt at first. He used to have these adorable unruly curls that he has since, sadly, shaven off. I keep hoping that he’ll grow them back, but I’m afraid that he might no longer be able to. Alas.

I have not included stories about any other players, and I do not expect to ever include this section again because I simply lack the material. I know none of the Reds personally, but I’ve come close to meeting Freel twice, and those meetings provide the fodder for this section.

The more recent story occurred at Spring Training when I procured Freel’s autograph on a t-shirt. You can find that story here.

The other story takes place at Applebee’s across the river from the stadium, well before I’d developed the baseball sophistication to do things like buy Freel t-shirts. I, in fact, was still in the throes of a prototypical first-baseball-crush on Sean Casey, and though I knew it was highly unlikely, it was him I was hoping would show up for the 700 WLW show after the game.

Even though it was “only” Freel that showed up, Jon and I enjoyed the program immensely. The radio station had bought Freel one of those great 20-oz Applebee’s beers, which was fine. Looking back on it, though, the second one was probably too much.

At the time, Danny Graves was up to his signature tricks of causing heart attacks en masse before pulling in a dramatic save, and a lot of people, including the hosts of this show, were down on him about it. Graves had gotten a save this way this very night.

I need to break the flow here to set up this scene, because it’s very important that you have a clear visual in your mind. Applebee’s is busy and bustling on a Saturday night, around 11:30. WLW has set up a table in the middle of the room, but only about half of the patrons really seem to be there to see them. Around the perimeter of the restaurant people are eating and drinking and laughing. It is a bustling atmosphere, plenty loud.

OK, so the host of the show, who’s been dogging on Graves for the way he’s been going about getting the saves he’s been getting, brings up the save today and says to Freel, “What do you think? Does Graves really deserve a save for tonight’s performance?”

Freel, ever-enthusiastic, announces, “Oh yeah, man, Graves is legit!” and on “legit” throws both of his arms up into the air like he was leading a cheer. But instead of the rousing chorus of approval he expected, the crowd went totally. utterly. silent. No kidding, people who hadn’t paid attention to a single word of the interview, who hadn’t even realized that a Red was in the room, heard that phrase, stopped chewing, and turned to stare.

And at that exact moment, a cricket chirped.

No, there wasn’t really any cricket. But that would have been perfect. The excrutiating moment felt like it was frozen in time, but in fact the host glossed over it rather nicely and got things moving again in short order. They finished up their interview by midnight because that’s when Applebee’s closes, which was probably good for Freel who seemed to be approaching the “I love you, man” stage after a couple beers.

The next day, Freel started at third base and on the very first play of the game bobbled the ball. The guy sitting in front of us in the stands made some comment about how he had heard that Freel had been out drinking with WLW the night before. And from that point forward, WLW was no longer allowed to provide alcohol to their guests.

In light of the DUI, this story takes on a more sinister, foreshadowing tone, but at the time it was freaking hilarious. In fact, I still laugh painfully and cover my face when I think about that moment of silence. Exquisite-agony-wise, that one is going to be tough to top.

Ryan Paul Freel was born March 8, 1976 in Jacksonville, Florida. He attended Englewood High School in Jacksonville and Tallahassee Community College. He lives in Jacksonville. He is married to Christie and on January 1, 2004 the couple had their first child, a girl named Ava.

Freel has always been a daredevil and is well-known for the time he jumped off a third-story motel balcony into a swimming pool.

Freel was involved in a minor stir at the end of the 2004 season when he and D’Angelo Jimenez came to blows at a team gathering.

Freel created much more of a buzz on the evening of the 2005 opening day when he was arrested for DUI and other related charges. Freel originally plead not guilty to the charges but later changed his plea to guilty, probably as part of a plea agreement. When it was all said and done, all of the charges were dropped except for the DUI and Freel was required to pay a $200 fine and participate in the Reds’ Employee Assistance Program.

In January 2006, he was arrested again, this time in Tampa for Disorderly Intoxicaton. The charges were eventually dropped, and the Cincinnati fanbase continues to be supportive and forgiving.