We’re back from our spring break trip to the city of Houston. Can you believe it’s only been more than two weeks since our last podcast? This season already has the old familiar feeling.

This week on the podcast, we talk about how all the teams are doing so far. You definitely won’t want to miss our newest feature, the Inaccurate Reenactment, where Jonny does a horrible Dusty Baker impression, and I do an even worse Bronson Arroyo one. I like to think that we’re expressing an inner character rather than thinking that we’re just horrible voice actors.

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Boxscore

Yes, I know the final game of this series has already finished as I type this, but I feel compelled to document the Reds (6-9) continued suckage.

The Cubs (9-5) defeated the Reds handily, basically ending the game after they batted in the first inning and score 4 runs off of Josh Fogg (1-2). Somehow, Fogg pitched a scoreless second before completely imploding in the third (5 earned runs with no outs recorded). My guess is that the Cubs wore themselves out in the first and needed a rest before their second wind.

Carlos Zambrano (2-1) pitched 7 innings for the win. I think Zambrano wouldn’t have lasted that long, but Dusty’s “Swing first, see if it was a strike later” approach to batting is beginning to take hold with the Reds.

With Fogg ineffective again, it’s easy to look at AAA where Matt Belisle and Homer Bailey are both pitching lights-out ball. Is a change coming? After the game, Baker had this little gem of wisdom to share about possible changes to the team’s roster:

It’s a very interesting situation.

Dusty Baker, ladies and gentlemen.

The two teams finished their series this afternoon. Edinson Volquez started against Ted Lilly.

Spoiler alert: the Reds won!

Boxscore

Wasn’t that a fun game? Highly entertaining and humorous in every way. I don’t know if it’s my recaptured ability to laugh at the Reds’ ignorant attempts to become a legitimate baseball team or if it’s just the beauty of having Dusty Baker back in Wrigley. Either way, we all win. Or at least I do. And the Cubs.

To the game, the Reds (6-8) lost their fourth in a row to the Cubs (8-5). Aaron Harang (1-2) wasn’t his usual self, giving up two home runs and not really giving his team a chance to win. Sure, one of the homeruns was to Derek Lee, which will happen, but the other was to Mark DeRosa. That’s a sign that something’s wrong, and Harang did report he was a little under the weather after the game. I don’t know if the sickness caused or was caused by the homerun.

Ryan Dempster (2-0) has obviously been captured by robots or aliens or something and replaced with someone who can pitch because he continued to not look like the Dumpster of every year. Well, that’s not true. He did allow 4 runs in 6 innings, which just misses a quality start. Still. He’s had inexplicable early season success.

No save was available for the game thanks to the laughable appearance of the Reds’ 2007 bullpen. Great to have you back!

The two traveling comedy troupes perform the antics for our laughing pleasure again today at 8:05pm EDT. Josh Fogg starts against Carlos Zambrano.

Hey, this is fun. Byron from one of our favorite Cubbie blogs, Goat Riders of the Apocolypse, initiated a little exchange of team wisdom leading up to tonight’s battle. Here are his answers to the questions I sent him. See also: my answers to his questions.

Q1: Kosuke Fukudome is off to a good start, but is he $48 million good? Are the Cubs better off with him than they would have been with four $12 million contracts over 4 years?
As long as Fooky stays healthy, yes, he’s $48 million good. Or at least $48 million on a $100+ million club, good. I’m not sure I would build a team around him at that price, but if you’ve already got Derrek Lee, Aramis Ramirez, and Carlos Zambrano inked to long-term deals, then Kozuke’s a good addition for $48 mm. And no, the Cubs have several $3-$4 a year type guys on the roster already. The problem is that there are only so many slots on the roster, and you’ve got to get significant (abover average) production out of some of those slots. You could try to bring up young guys… but the Cubs are better at paying proven talent.

Q2: How long until Kerry Wood is injured?
I’m going out on a limb here and predicting a healthy year this year. Now next year, after he’s pitched five days in a row at one point in September to get us to the post-season… well, we’ll get to next year when it comes.

Q3: Do you think the team has what it takes to keep Carlos Zambrano hydrated in the long-term?
At this point, hydrated-Carlos sucks, so we’re gonna start puncturing IV bags in the clubhouse. I vote to give him his caffeine and Red Bull back, and that Larry Rothschild just makes sure he drinks some Gatorade every other inning.

Q4: Ryan Dempster? Jason Marquis? WTF?
Ryan Dempster looks like Cy Young so far. Steroids? (I jest.) Jason, the Marquis de Suck? We’re still trying to figure out why Jim Hendry ever though signing Marquis would be a good idea. And Dempster, that one’s a head scratcher. He was a decent reliever who had a good starting season in 2000. Jon Lieber has won 20 games more recently that Dempster had a good season as a starter… but apparently Dempster’s got enough pull to muscle his way into the rotation, and so far, we can’t complain.

Q5: Is this the year?
Probably not. We are really thin in terms of playoff quality starting pitching. The other teams that look poised to make playoff runs in the NL all have more top-line depth on the mound, and so we’re in for a repeat of last year. A playoff appearance, and an opening round loss. Now if Dempster or one of the other pitchers has a career year, then we could conceivably crown this year as “the year,” but I’m not holding my breath.

Boxscore

The Cubs (7-5), not content with playing extra innings even after all the more than regulation games against the Pirates, decided to play one more against the Phillies (6-7).

Cubs manager Lou Piniella pulled a Larussa and had Carlos Zambrano pinchhit in the 10th. He didn’t get a hit, but apparently, the fierce nature of his moose-like being caused Chase Utley to screw up a throw, which allowed the winning run to score. Now that’s what I call using intangibles.

Kerry Wood (1-0) picked up the win, Rudy Seanez (0-1) got the loss, and Bob Howry (S 1) got the save.

Like everyone else in the Central (except the poor Pirates), the Cubs have Monday off before hosting the Reds on Tuesday. Aaron Harang goes against Ryan Dempster at 8:05pm EDT.