And not just a quick rinse like Mr. Redlegs, but the full 15 seconds. Pay attention kids: that’s how you avoid the dreaded flu-like symptoms.

I wasn’t able to watch the game today, what with being busy going through the commencement ceremony for my MBA program (YAYYY!), but I still felt the need to take a quick moment tonight to express the fantabulocity of the Reds sweeping the Cardinals. Last season, I took the Reds’ inability to beat the Cards in those emotionally charged games as foreshadowing of their inability to master their nerves in the postseason. Does this mark a change in the fortunes of the team? Either way, it was awesome sauce.

John Fay and Lance McAlister both touched on the Cuban missile crisis that is Aroldis Chapman right now in posts today.

First up, McAlister posted these stats attesting to Chapman’s recent innefectiveness.

April 30: K, BB, WP, BB, BB, 2B, K, K
May 5: BB, BB, 1B
May 10: BB, HBP, BB, BB
He’s faced 14 batters with 11 getting on base.
He has not retired any of the 7 batters faced in his last two appearances.
He’s thrown 69 pitches with only 28 for strikes.
Total: 1.0 inning, 2 H, 8 BB, 3 K, 6 ER, WP, HBP

Clearly, that’s not getting it done. I mean, Chapman came in with a 7-0 lead against the Astros and had to be removed because there was a chance he’d blow the game. What’s going on? He was so dominant early in the year.

Fay reports that manager Dusty Baker’s not worried.

“Chapman struggling some to find the plate,” Dusty Baker said. “We’ve got to find a way to get his mechanics back in the sync. He’s throwing the ball great. It’s a matter of throwing strikes.”

Baker said Chapman will not be sent to minors to get straightened out.

Well, that’s an odd response. How can someone who has bad mechanics and isn’t throwing strikes be “throwing the ball great”? And what’s wrong with sending him to the minors to sort things out. The Reds aren’t AAA. It’s not a place to teach people.

The bullpen is a bit of a mess right now, with pitchers in roles they don’t belong in. Chapman, in particular.

Chapman needs to be pitching every 5th day in the Louisville rotation. He’s very uneven still and needs a lot of work at repeating his delivery. Plus, he’d make a much better starter than a reliever.

And speaking of starters, what exactly was Mike Leake doing pitching the 9th inning today? He’s a starter with one year of professional baseball on his resume. He’s never relieved at this level like that. It would make far more sense for Leake to also be in the minors pitching in the Louisville rotation. Jose Arredondo needs to be activated from the disabled list.

Have him replace Leake and let Leake get back to working on being a more consistent starter. And do the same for Chapman. I don’t want the big league club losing games they would have won because of people learning on the job.

When I start up my work computer in the morning, Yahoo! instant messenger starts up too, and presents to me a list of top news stories. It’s just like scanning the morning paper, if your morning paper contains exclusively tips for becoming a millionaire by age 40 and gossip about who wore the same dress on the red carpet.

It’s like a big, fat jelly doughnut for your brain: no nutrients, but enough sugar to provide a nice little jump start.

The occasional sports blog is referenced in this list, and I was surprised yesterday to see Brandon Phillips’ smiling mug accompanying one of the stories. It was a post on Big League Stew: a Y! sports blog, which I think I’ve already linked to once before, and probably will again. It’s only fair to share the brain candy, since there’s plenty to go around.

This particular blog was all about Phillip’s between-the-legs dish on Tuesday night. I didn’t get to see it myself, being in class that night, but I could picture it in my mind:

On a slow roller hit by Houston’s Jason Bourgeois(notes) in the third inning Tuesday night, Phillips had neither the time nor the proper angle to make a conventional defensive play to retire the speedy baserunner at first base.

So, running toward home at full speed from his position at second, Phillips bent down, barehanded Bourgeois’ grounder and quickly flipped the ball between his legs — near his ankles — for the out at first base.

This is getting to be a habit. BP referenced a “better” play in San Diego in a tweet, and the Reds were posting today’s behind-the-back-while-lying-on-his-belly toss on Facebook before the game was even over.

I think I missed all three of these plays, between school and work and the stupidness of day games. Hopefully he’ll keep it up, though, so I can catch some of this awesomeness in the near future.

So far this year, the Cincinnati Reds have played like a .500 team. As Rob Lowe in Parks & Recreation would say, “They’ve literally been average.”

And they have. The Reds’ record stands now at 15 wins and 15 losses.

They won today, thanks to some 9th inning competence from Joey Votto, Brandon Phillips, and uncharacteristically, Jay Bruce. Thanks to a solid pitching performance by Travis Wood and the bullpen, the team was only down by 2 in the 9th. Granted, the offense had mustered something like one measly hit against the Houston Astros to that point, but the pitching had managed to keep it close.

I keep hoping that this team will find rediscover the spark they had at the season’s very beginning. The fact that Bruce actually produced today is a good sign, but there needs to be more from him. Like last year, he’s started slow in 2010. He comes up too often in situations where he could help the team and is a key figure for success this year.

Of course, the pitching has been wretched lately, too. The two injured starters are returning this week, and I’d say that Johnny Cueto and Homer Bailey are better than Sam LeCure and Mike Leake, who they’ll be replacing in the rotation. Maybe that will be enough to get this team going, although it feels like more is needed than just a couple guys coming off the disabled list. Heck if I know what, though.

It’s been a frustrating year watching the Reds play so far. The season is by no means over, and the Reds aren’t really in a hole in the standings–they’re in 2nd place. But they’ve been playing teams they should beat, and have instead been losing badly.

Today was a good first step after the team meeting with manager Dusty Baker and owner Bob Castellini. I’m hoping for another good step tomorrow afternoon when Bailey starts for the first time this year.