In a move that the ancient Maya predicted millenia ago, the Chicago Tribune reports that Bud Selig intends to step down as commissioner once his contract ends in 2012. Clearly, this is what will cause the world to end.

Bud Selig has long been a controversial figure for baseball, overseeing many changes in the game–from the addition of the wild-card to making the All Star game “meaningful”. He’s also had his fair share of conflict of interests, such as being owner of the Brewers for the beginning of his time on the job. But I think what he’ll be remembered for the most is bringing the class of a used car salesman back to Major League Baseball. It’s clearly what the sport had been missing.

And while some will look forward to new blood: someone who will make the sport great again, I know that nothing will change. The new commish will be the same as the old; the record earnings by the owners and players under Selig’s leadership will see to that. All I hope is that someone with less slimy hair can be found.

Joe Mauer of the Minnesota Twins took home the American League MVP award this year, and to him I say the same thing I said to Albert Pujols of the St. Louis Cardinals, winner of the NL award: if you’re so damn valuable, where’s your team’s 2009 World Series ring, huh?

And don’t freakin’ tell me that Matt Holliday took it cuz I’ve got a whole bucketful of would’ves and should’ves of my own without that crapoli.

This is the email I got from Major League Baseball about the MLB Insider’s Club Magazine:

I clicked through, confident from the “free” trial, blanket offer, and refusal to mention a price that the offer would provide me the opportunity to get in a pot shot or two about Major League Baseball’s shilling. But actually, it sounds like a decent deal. $24 a year gets you membership into the club, including the subscription to the magazine. They say they might send you books and videos, but that you can send them back at their expense if you don’t want to buy, and they imply that you can opt out of that part as well.

As long as the magazine itself doesn’t turn out to be two stapled together, photocopied pages of hand-drawn player portraits done in crayon, (I get enough of those from my kid’s school) I think I might be interested. Plus the blanket’s a heckuva stocking stuffer.

I wanted to use an example of my own photo on the special Christmas mousepad, but since the photo you use has to be at least 700×700 and since I take all my photos with my iPhone, I had to go online looking for wallpaper to use instead.

But if you use a more standard digital camera, you probably have a high-res-enough photo to make your own mousepad, mug, or ornament. Buy enough of them, and maybe the Reds will build enough cash to sign a decent free agent.

I’m late to the party on this, but the Reds and baseball haven’t been occupying my mind too much lately.

Apparently, the Reds did have some money to spend this off-season. Instead of doing anything useful with it, like firing Dusty Baker, they opted to bring back a mediocre catcher for well above the league minimum.

So welcome back, Ramon Hernandez. Knowing Dusty, I imagine you’ll be taking time from productive players like Joey Votto as soon as the next season starts.

Moving backward through my inbox, I discovered an email from October 8 that announced that the Reds had two consecutive weeks of players being named the NL Player of the Week. It was Joey Votto for the week ending September 27 and Homer Bailey for the next week. From the email:

The Reds ended the season with a second straight National League Player of the Week winner, as Homer Bailey earned the honors for the final week of 2009. Bailey picked up the win in two starts (Sept. 29 vs. the Cardinals and Oct. 4 vs. the Pirates), allowing just one run and striking out 14 in 13 innings pitched. The right-hander finished the year 6-1 in his final nine starts, and his 1.70 ERA during that span tied for third-lowest among all big-league starters. Read more…

Not terrifically relevant right now, you might say, but then, there isn’t a whole lot else to talk about. Might as well give these lads props for a strong finish. Now if only they can take care of the starting part.

A popular pastime in the Cincinnati sportsland area is to relive the past. It’s a little sad–like the 20-something working the drive-thru who’s always retelling his school stories. To be fair, every sports fan does that sometime, except for whoever happens to be hot at the moment. Football fans in the Indianapolis area haven’t been dwelling on the past for quite a while now.

But Reds fans are among those who do, and little wonder. If your high school homecoming had been that great, you’d have a hard time focusing on the remembering to offer fire, hot, or mild sauce, too.

And this year, Redsfest is doing their part to feed the nostalgia. According to the marketing email they just sent me:

Wire-to-Wire Champs Highlight This Year’s Redsfest
Next year marks the 20th anniversary of the Reds’ unforgettable run to the 1990 World Series championship, and a number of players from that squad will be on hand to celebrate that magical season Dec. 4-5 at FOX Sports Ohio Redsfest, presented by Kahn’s. A dozen players are confirmed so far, including Eric Davis, Tom Browning, Billy Hatcher, Joe Oliver and 2010 Reds Hall of Fame inductee Chris Sabo.

All of the 1990 players and coaches will gather on the Main Stage Friday evening to join with their fellow Reds legends and the current team. During the event, fans will have the opportunity to pose for photos with an oversized 1990 team photo and meet these stars in the autograph and photo booths, in addition to all of the other excitement Redsfest has to offer.

This ought to be a good show, too. Not only are the guys from back then funny as hell, but they’re also above-and-beyond accessible. I mean, this was a team of *winners* and one of them’s even been on my podcast.

I’m psyched. This’ll be like Disney World minus the nice weather but with slightly fewer mascots. You can get tickets here and I’ll see you there. You can be on the podcast.

Maybe I’m just behind the times, but this is the first time I’ve noticed that there is an auction site on mlb.com that appears to have a constant supply of crap for sale.

http://reds.auction.mlb.com/

Up for bids right now:

• Autographed baseballs from:
  • Ron Robinson
  • Joey Votto
  • Joe Morgan
  • Ken Griffey, Jr.
• Johnny Bench autographed bat
• Wayne Granger autographed photo

And the piece de resistance:

This is your chance to skip to the head of the line and GUARANTEE four autographs from Reds players at FOX Sports Ohio’s Redsfest in December!

From now through Nov. 23, you can place your bid on one of 45 Time Warner Cable Autograph Fast Passes. Each pass allows the holder to move to the front of an autograph line two times each day during the two-day event Dec. 4-5 at the Duke Energy Convention Center. That means you can GUARANTEE four autographs from Reds players!

Passes are valid for the holder only and are non-transferable. No friends or family members can accompany the holder in the autograph line. Rules for Kids-only and Season Ticket Holders-only lines apply to Fast Passes. Must be 12 or younger to use Fast Pass in Kids-only line and must be a Season Ticket Holder to use Fast Pass in Season Ticket Holder-only line.

Bids start at $50. Auctions end on Monday, Nov. 23, 2009 at 5 p.m. EST.

As of this writing, current bid is $110. Heck, you’d make back that much selling your kid’s treasured autographed items on eBay!

Until December 11, you can vote in the MLB.com This Year in Baseball awards. “This isn’t just a routine fan poll,” MLB assures me personally via email, “as winner will be awarded their trophies on field in 2010.” Presumably, this will happen sometime during the season.

This reminds me: I never got around to sending out awards for the Hottest Red contest.

Anyway, if you want to have your say in who has to forgo his pre-game routine sometime in 2010 to receive a paperweight, check it out.