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April 2, 2014

Cardinals Most Wanted

Wacha! Wacha!

Wacha Wacha Wacha!

Tonight is the Cincinnati Reds’ first night game of the season, and the team has turned it into quite the event. For Opening Night, players will walk a red carpet and provide autographs to fans, the broadcast crew wears tuxedos, there’s a team calendar giveaway, and after the game there are fireworks.

It’s a fun time, and I’ll be sad to be missing it for the second year in a row. But I’ll be at home, watching as theĀ  St. Louis Cardinals send Michael Wacha to the mound to try to avoid a sophomore slump. Of course, I’ll be envisioning Fozzie Bear everytime he’s shown.

In honor of that, here’s some of Fozzie’s best worst jokes.

  • Fozzie: OK, so a guy asks me ‘Did you take a bath today?’ and I said Why is there one missing? Wacha Wacha Wacha!
  • Fozzie: What do you get when you put chocolate pudding in your mother’s shoes? Give up? You get a spanking! Wacha Wacha Wacha!
  • Fozzie: Why do movie stars have lots of fans? Give up? Because they’re HOT!
  • Fozzie: What did the big dragon say to the mouse? Give up. Nothing! Dragons can’t talk!
  • Fozzie: Did I tell you the one about the man with the light bulb in his nose? He was lightheaded! Get it? Wacha Wacha Wacha!
  • Fozzie: Why are fish so smart? Give up? ‘Cause they swim in schools.
  • Fozzie: Why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog? Because it was a chili dog. Wacha Wacha Wacha!

Hopefully, the Reds’ offense will have a presence in tonight’s game. While they’re continued absence could become quite a joke, it would never be as endearing as Fozzie.

The first pitch is scheduled tonight at 7:10 pm.

April 1, 2014

Opening Day Gallery

The RHM crew had a surprise offer a few days before the Reds’ Opening Day: a couple first-base side tickets right near the dugout to see the Reds try to beat the Cardinals. It was too amazing to turn down.

We arrived a couple hours before the stadium’s gates opened and headed to the Moerlein Lager House to enjoy the wonderful weather in the outdoor park adjacent to the restaurant.

The Great American Ball Park light stacks appear above the Moerlein Lager House.

The Great American Ball Park light stacks appear above the Moerlein Lager House.

A few Moerleins and Hudepohls later, we headed into the stadium and found our seats. They were excellent.

Cueto jogs to the dugout after warming up.

Cueto jogs to the dugout after warming up.

Votto crouches at first as the pitch is delivered.

Votto crouches at first as the pitch is delivered.

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April 1, 2014

Opening Day 2014: Cardinals 1, Reds 0

Cardinals (1-0)000000100153
Reds (0-1)000000000030
W: Wainwright (1-0) L: Cueto (0-1) S: Rosenthal (1)


Cueto checks the runner.

Cueto checks the runner.

The Cincinnati Reds opened the 2014 season yesterday with a shutout loss to the St. Louis Cardinals. It was the first time they’d been shutout on opening day since 1953.

Johnny Cueto started for the Reds and was excellent. Following a trainer’s visit to the mound in the first inning, Cueto was almost unhittable. His only hiccup was in the seventh inning when he allowed a solo home run to Yadier Molina. After that, the bullpen of Manny Parra and Logan Ondrusek took over, shutting out the Cardinals for the rest of the game.

Unfortunately, all that excellent pitching was wasted. The offense from the latter days of the 2013 season was in full force, as the team managed just three hits and no runs. This lack of production despite the Cardinals committing three errors, as if they were daring the Reds to take advantage.

The final tally of Opening Day 2014.

The final tally of Opening Day 2014.

The series continues on Wednesday after a break today, with Michael Wacha taking on Homer Bailey at 7:10pm.

December 10, 2013

First Hall of Famer from the steroids era elected

The worst case of conjunctivitis. Ever.Tony LaRussa was elected to the Hall of Fame yesterday, along with Joe Torre and Bobby Cox.

LaRussa is the first manager or player from the much-maligned steroids era baseball to be elected to the Hall. This election was not performed by the Baseball Writers of America, as the most popular results are. Instead it was done by a Hall of Fame Baseball committee charged with electing managers and overlooked players.

LaRussa won a total of three World Series as manager, one with the Oakland A’s and two with the St. Louis Cardinals.

April 11, 2013

In brief: An old-fashioned butt-whipping

Last game
The Reds were unable to take the series from the Cardinals, losing 10-0 in what was an embarrassing outing all around. The offense managed 5 hits and no runs, and the pitching was something you hope to never see again. Homer Bailey was solid through the first four innings, but fell apart and was knocked out of the game in the 5th when he allowed 4 runs. Both John Jay and Carlos Beltran hit homers off him in that inning. The bullpen arrived to throw gasoline on the fire and turn the game into the Reds’ first shutout of the season.

Next game
The Reds have a day off today as they travel to Pittsburgh where they start a three game series with the Pirates on Friday. Mike Leake will start against AJ Burnett tomorrow at 7:05 pm.

Sean Marshall signing a few autographs during 2012's opening night.Marshall disabled and Ondrusek called up
Despite his lone appearance being a 1-2-3 inning, Sean Marshall will be making a trip to the disabled list. Logan Ondrusek fills his roster spot.

Marshall has had a tired shoulder since the end of spring training.

“I felt great (Tuesday),” Marshall said. “I pitched Sunday. I didn’t feel great Monday. I like to bounce back well. We thought it was the best thing (to go on the DL). The bullpen has been working hard. To have somebody fresh who is able to pitch in consecutive days. … I was close to being able to do that. I understand we have an off day tomorrow.

“But it was in the best interest of myself and the rest of the guys to take this little DL stint and strengthen my shoulder and get it back to 100 percent, so I can pitch the rest of the year without problems.”

With as many innings as the bullpen has pitched, not having Marshall available has been painful. Hopefully, Marshall’s time on the DL will fully restore his shoulder so he’s dominating hitters later in the season.

What to say to sound smart at the water cooler
With Cesar Izturis’ start at shortstop yesterday, second-baseman Brandon Phillips has now played with 23 different shortstops during his Cincinnati tenure. In addition to Izturis, Phillips has played with Didi Gregorius, Wilson Valdez, Todd Frazier, Zack Cozart, Edgar Renteria, Orlando Cabrera, Miguel Cairo, Paul Janish, Drew Sutton, Chris Valaika, Alex Gonzalez, Jerry Hairston Jr., Adam Rosales, Jolbert Cabrera, Juan Castro, Jeff Keppinger, Enrique Cruz, Pedro Lopez, Rich Aurilia, Royce Clayton, Felipe Lopez, and last, but not least, Ray Olmedo.