Today the Reds went to a place they hadn't yet been during their road trip: the bottom of the ninth inning. From what I've been able to piece together from Web pages, newspaper columns, and my husband's second-hand account of having heard the game on the radio, it was a scrape-together of a win, but I'm sure I'm not the only Reds fan out there whose glad to have it.

I had to piece together game news because in this information age at my high-tech company, I cannot receive AM radio, I do not have access to a television, and streaming radio or video is forbidden just because it takes up the company's bandwidth. So unless I want to get my booty fired by taking a 3-hour lunch to sit in my car in the parking lot to listen to the game, I'm left with just the gamecast on mlb.com.

Actually, the gamecast is a wonderful invention. It gives solace to those of us stuck in Corporate America on beautiful spring afternoons. And I'm sure that if I found my enjoyment of the game in the statistics, it would be more than adequate, but for me, baseball is a human experience. I follow the sport to accompany the players vicariously through their streaks and slumps, homeruns and double plays, clutch hits and swinging strikeouts with the bases loaded, groin scratches and pats on the butt.

Though the gamecast leaves some some of the softer points of the game to the imagination, it also provides it's own sense of drama, like when something amazing happens. For example, I took this screenshot of today's game to record this unusual incidence. You'd think that if they were going to make a guy play two positions, at least they'd give him adjacent fields.

The gamecast also gives provides in-game excitement when it goes silent for long periods of time, leaving your brain to come up with all sorts of wild scenarios about what could be the holdup. I remember one day in June 2003 when the ESPN gamecast program just went silent. I reloaded the application, but nothing. I asked a coworker who was watching, but apparently the gamecast was just down. Suddenly, it popped back to life with the simple statement that Paul Wilson had been ejected from the game and no further explanation.

Later I would see Wilson charging the mound over and over again on highlights reels, but for the rest of the afternoon I had nothing better to do than ponder what had come to pass in those minutes of silence. And now, whenever there's a delay in the gamecast information, my mind runs wild with possibilities. Would I be going home to see a bench-clearing brawl? A streaker? A giant bird crapping on Jim Edmonds' head (I hope, I hope, I hope).

Yeah, the gamecast isn't the same as watching the game in person. Or on t.v. Or catching it on the radio. But I'll take the gamecast and my mental images of how Danny Graves is doing his damnedest to give away the game over actual work any day of the week.

Note to self: look into renting a giant bird that can crap on command for the next time St. Louis comes to town.

Welcome to the new look and feel of Red Hot Mama, a weblog to contain the smart-assed comments of me, a Cincinnati Reds groupie.

Those of you who managed to sniff out Red Hot Mama before her makeover this afternoon probably got here from http://www.redreporter.com/. Shoutout to JD for posting my link and for the props. “Seems pretty good from what I've read so far” is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my blog.

ST. LOUIS, MO -- Cincinnati Reds utility-man Ryan Freel addressed the press and the public Monday night to apologize for stepping on a man's toes on a busy street in St. Louis late Monday afternoon.

“I just can't tell you how sorry I am,” Freel told reporters, “the street was busy and the crowd jostled me around, but that's no excuse. As a role model, I should be more fleet-footed.”

The man in the crowd could not be reached for comment, apparently having not noticed the alleged toe-stepping. This incident marks the third time in the young 2005 season that Freel has struck a penitent posture. Freel released a press release on Tuesday apologizing, without admitting wrong-doing, for his DUI arrest. He also expressed regret over a mistaken baserunning decision at Sunday's game against the Astros.

“It was one of those things where I made a mistake,” said Freel.

Freel went on to apologize for a slew of other things, including hitting into a double play, being left on base, not being six inches taller, wearing his pants too loose, talking back to his mother when he was little, jay-walking, leaving the toilet seat up, and cutting his hair too short.

“It really did look better longer,” he admitted.

At the end of the press conference, Paul Wilson made an appearance to take credit for both the Reds' loss in his no-decision against the Astros on Saturday as well as Milton's loss against the Astros on Sunday.

“I should have given up one run that inning, then gone out for the seventh, and we should have ended up winning, 3-1. Then [the Astros] wouldn't have felt so good about themselves coming in on Sunday and we would have ended up winning that one too, 15-1,” Wilson said.

One or more of the Reds is scheduled to apologize Tuesday night after the game against St. Louis.

Well, we watched the taped game in its entirety. It's painful, painful entirety.

I guess I'm not surprised that the Astros swept the Reds after the Reds sudden incapacity to convert their hits to runs, but I'm still disappointed. I especially love it when the backups come in to win where the starters cannot; it feeds my fantasy that even I could come in to be the hero. If only they let girls play.

I was interested and intrigued by moving Joe Randa up to hit clean-up. Yesterday the Astros intentionally walked Randa twice, which did a surprisingly effective job at neutralizing the offense. It put me in the mind of last season when the Reds moved Wily Mo Pena up to clean-up when he was hot and needed some protection. Unlike Pena, though, Randa continued to hit well in the fourth spot today, a testament to the benefit of having a few people kicking around on the team who aren't intimidated by their own abilities.

I'm bummin'. It's already looking like the brief flirtation with greatness is already being crushed under the startling weight of reality. I think I'll stop dwelling on this by writing up on of my spring training memories instead. Here's hoping I don't have too many more of the opportunities to participate in this kind of denial.

Yesterday, the Reds lost for the second time to the Astros in unspectacular fashion. After Paul Wilson helped himself out with an RBI single to make the score 3-0 in the top of the sixth, he proceeded to give up three runs in the bottom of the inning. Joe Valentine came on to hold the Astros, but the offense just wasn't able to convert and over the course of the game left 13 runners. After a respectable showing in the 8th, Wagner came on in the 9th and failed to get a single out in the inning before allowing Jose Vizcaino to double-in the game-winning run.

Wilson tried to take all of the blame on himself, but no one was buying it. Like usual, the blame was a commodity to be shared by all.

I'm finding it hard to find anything cute or witty to say about it, mostly because, at this very moment, the Reds are trying to avoid a sweep. We missed the first part of the game for my brother-in-law's birthday party, and we're waiting until the game is all the way done to watch the tape and pretend like it's happening real-time. It's making me fidgity and crabby to have to avoid all my Reds news when I know how much is out there, waiting to be read.

It's time to see what the tape will reveal. Hopefully, this evening there will be reason to be funny again.