Welcome to the very first player profile in the Human League. I should take this opportunity to make it absolutely clear that I know none of the Reds personally. I've never met a single one. My impressions are based on four years of observations and nothing else, so please feel free to put the smack down on me with your evidence to the contrary of my opinions.

Jason LaRue.

Introducing the Human League.

Shoutout for the mad props over at Reds and Blues. You're sassy and sophisticated too, Joel.

When you choose a player’s jersey to wear, you’re stating your respect for that player, but you’re also saying something about yourself. You’re saying that you identify with some of the characteristics of that person, so if you choose to wear LaRue’s number, you’re probably telling the world that you’re a no-nonsense person who prefers to go about your business without drawing a lot of attention to yourself. You’re saying that you appreciate the simple pleasures of life: a realiable pick-up truck, swimming in the ol’ mudhole, an ice-cold beer on a hot summer night in Indiana, and little pink houses for you and me.

When you choose a player's jersey to wear, you're stating your respect for that player, but you're also saying something about yourself. You're saying that you identify with some of the characteristics of that person, so if you choose to wear LaRue's number, you're probably telling the world that you're a no-nonsense person who prefers to go about your business without drawing a lot of attention to yourself. You're saying that you appreciate the simple pleasures of life: a realiable pick-up truck, swimming in the ol' mudhole, an ice-cold beer on a hot summer night in Indiana, and little pink houses for you and me.

LaRue embodies all things good and wholesome about rural middle America. He is moral, honest, hard-working, responsible, never complains, and looks just a little bit like John Mellancamp. He’s quiet and cool-headed, even though he must be the single Red who sees more bad calls and hears more heckling than all the others. There isn’t a thing about LaRue that I could like more.

LaRue occasionally strikes me as being a little too grateful for the success he’s enjoyed, which makes him a little too cautious. Is he lucky to get to paid millions to play a child’s game all summer? Sure. But he’s also entitled to it. LaRue has earned what he has, and if he doesn’t realize that, someone ought to tell him.

LaRue embodies all things good and wholesome about rural middle America. He is moral, honest, hard-working, responsible, never complains, and looks just a little bit like John Mellancamp. He's quiet and cool-headed, even though he must be the single Red who sees more bad calls and hears more heckling than all the others. There isn't a thing about LaRue that I could like more.

LaRue occasionally strikes me as being a little too grateful for the success he's enjoyed, which makes him a little too cautious. Is he lucky to get to paid millions to play a child's game all summer? Sure. But he's also entitled to it. LaRue has earned what he has, and if he doesn't realize that, someone ought to tell him.

Jason LaRue is the starting catcher for the Reds. Over the years I’ve watched, LaRue has provided many a thrilling moment by throwing out runners stealing second, though I hear his percentages in that area aren’t what they used to be. LaRue does a better-than-adequate job of calling games, and he can be counted on to manage the pitching staff.

The time he spent under the tutelage of Bob Boone seemed to have shaken his confidence in himself, but now I believe that he is bouncing back, stronger for the experience. If I were to choose a captain for this team, LaRue would be at the top of my list, because though he’s not as popular with the fans as Sean Casey, he is more even-tempered and baseball-focused, and I suspect that he has the deep and abiding respect of his teammates.

On the down-side, he lets more than the average number of pitches go past him. In his defense, however, LaRue has not exactly had the benefit of catching the most skilled pitchers in the league.

At the plate, LaRue is hit by pitches a lot, which can only help his on-base percentage, since, like most catchers, he’s only an average hitter.

Jason LaRue is the starting catcher for the Reds. Over the years I've watched, LaRue has provided many a thrilling moment by throwing out runners stealing second, though I hear his percentages in that area aren't what they used to be. LaRue does a better-than-adequate job of calling games, and he can be counted on to manage the pitching staff.

The time he spent under the tutelage of Bob Boone seemed to have shaken his confidence in himself, but now I believe that he is bouncing back, stronger for the experience. If I were to choose a captain for this team, LaRue would be at the top of my list, because though he's not as popular with the fans as Sean Casey, he is more even-tempered and baseball-focused, and I suspect that he has the deep and abiding respect of his teammates.

On the down-side, he lets more than the average number of pitches go past him. In his defense, however, LaRue has not exactly had the benefit of catching the most skilled pitchers in the league.

At the plate, LaRue is hit by pitches a lot, which can only help his on-base percentage, since, like most catchers, he's only an average hitter.

CINCINNATI, OH -- Four Reds players are listed on the ballot for the 2010 All-Star Game, which will take place July 12, 2010 at Salt Lake City's Lotramin Park, home of the Utah Brewers.

The ballot was announced today and includes left fielder Chris Denorfia, third baseman Edwin Encarnación, and five-time all-star Felipe Lopez, who is still trying to break his way into the starting shortstop role in Cincinnati. Seventeen-time all-star center fielder, Ken Griffey, Jr., is likely a shoe-in as 2010 looks like it is finally going to be the year he stays healthy.

Fans can cast their votes for starters up to 2500 times using their cortical implants at MLB.com. Online balloting ends at 11:59 p.m. ET on June 30.