CINCINNATI, OH -- Ken Griffey, Jr. discovered that the Houston Astros' grip on first place was held together with pine tar this weekend when he replaced the tar with honey.
Griffey, a notorious prankster and bored during his continuing stint on the disabled list, snuck into the visitor's clubhouse before Friday's game. There, he cleaned the nasty-ass pine tar off Craig Biggio's batting helmet. In place of the tar, he covered the helmet in honey.
“It seemed to fit,” said Griffey of the prank, “they're supposed to be killer bees.”
Even Griffey didn't know that the tar was all that was holding the team together.
“I just thought it might attract gnats or something,” Griffey explained, “I didn't realize I was helping the Reds win.”
Helping the Reds win is not one of Griffey's priorities. He recently said he would be unwilling to consider a position change, despite the fact that the Reds have been performing better without him in center field.
“Look, I'm only 36, and I'm held together with the very best staples and duct tape that science has to offer,” said Griffey. “There's no reason for me to move.”
The Reds agree and have left Griffey on the disabled list going into Sunday's game.