Most Valuable Poultry, that is.

Happy Turkey Day, everyone!

The Toronto Sun is reporting that the Blue Jays have made an early bid for the services of free agent starting pitcher A.J. Burnett with an offer of US$50 million over five years. Toronto is one of nine teams interested in Burnett.

With the Reds sitting out this free-agent season, I guess we'll miss out on all the fun. Man, when are we going to get to throw a multi-year contract and loads of cash at a pitcher coming off a good year?

Man, I'm bored. Are you bored? I'm bored.

I was briefly not bored yesterday when I saw that the spring training schedule is now available, but it didn't last. I tried to be interested in this Burns character the Reds picked up off waivers from the Astros, but I just can't. I wanted to make some genius observation about the piddling movement on the 40-man roster, but I lack the attention span.

About the only Reds-related thing that has held my attention over the last week has been this interview with Austin Kearns.

Who was the biggest influence on your life, outside of your parents?

Probably just a couple of my best friends, as far as always being themselves. It's not like anybody's got a big head or anything. It's just people who keep me grounded. I've got two best friends back home, Chris and Jared, who I hang out with all the time.

Interesting that he mentions two of his other friends by name, but not Dunn. In fact, he doesn't mention Dunn in the entire interview. Huh.

If you could have dinner with any celebrity, who would it be and why?

Golly, that gives you some possibilities right there! I've got to think of some chicks! I'm trying to think who the best one going is. If I had to pick a dude, I'd probably say Brett Favre. But if it's a female, hmm. … Let me think about that. There's so many.

Kearns says “Golly”?

He eventually settled on Angelina Jolie, so this seems like a pertinent time to mention that I look just like Angelina Jolie, only I'm not flat-chested. In fact, the paparazzi are constantly running up to me in the street yelling “Angelina! Who did your boobs?” No really.

What's your biggest pet peeve?

People being late. I like to be on time. I don't like having to wait.

Me too. I hate to wait. I wish the Reds would hurry up and do something interesting.

Man, I'm bored.

New York, NY -- Major League Baseball is taking flak for waiting until today to announce Terry Pendleton as the winner of the National League Most Valuable Player Award for 1991.

Some fans seem to think that the long-delayed announcement lacks relevance in the face of the football and young basketball seasons.

“Yeah, Terry Pendleton,” said Peter Griffin, a sports fan who heard the announcement on television at a local Hooters. “He plays for the Colts, right? That team is freakin' sweet.”

Some baseball fans, especially younger ones, complain that they've never heard of Terry Pendleton.

“I was 5 in 1991,” explained Turk Turkleton. “Unless you're going to tell me that Bullwinkle won, I'm not going to know who the heck you're talking about.”

By far, the most common complaint was the long time delay for the announcement.

“You expect me to remember what some guy did in 1991?” asked Dwight Shrut, a salesman. “I can barely remember what the 2005 MVPs did.”

I don't often have the time or energy to investigate the baseball blogosphere the way I'd like, but The Pine Tar Rag, a Royals blog, linked to me recently, so I went to check it out. It's distressingly blue and a little in-depth for those uninitiated to Kansas City fandom, but this comment on a recent post caught my attention:

# BrettParker Says:
November 14th, 2005 at 2:43 pm

Why are the Jays shopping Hudson? Also, is there even the slightest chance of Joe Randa playing 2nd base?

Randa at second? I'm surprised no one's advocating that idea around the greater Cincinnati area. At first it sounds ridiculous, but then you think: what better free agents are we going to pick up?

To completely change directions, if you haven't already seen these photos of Jim Edmonds living it up with some co-eds, I highly recommend them. Sure as hell beats this photo.

Finally, my crack technical staff has fixed the problem that was preventing RHM members from using the e-mail features. The biggest upshot here is that if you've forgotten your password, you can now use the functionality to get it back. w00t!