Happy new year. Be careful out there, and enjoy the holiday.

Happy New Year
Spike Jones and the City Slickers

This is my New Year's resolution:
When my mother-in-law begins to yell and shout
Through the window I would like to throw her out.
But I resolve not to do it, here is why:
I'm afraid of hitting someone passing by.
This is my New Year's resolution.

When I'm at the movies watching a love scene
And a lady's hat is blocking half the screen
I resolve not to shout, “Take off that hat!”
I'll remove it gently with a baseball bat.
This is my New Year's Resolution.

When I take a lovely lady out to eat
And she orders caviar instead of meat
I resolve to let the lady have her fill.
And of course I'll also let her pay the bill.
This is my New Year's Resolution.

When I'm sitting with my wifey on a bus
And a dear old lady stands in front of us
I resolve to be a gentleman discreet.
I'll politely offer her my wifey's seat.
This is my New Year's Resolution.

When my mother says, “Come in, it's time to eat.”
And I keep on playing games out in the street
I resolve to rush right home now when I'm called
Cause my pop just got a hairbrush and he's bald.
This is my New Year's Resolution.

On the radio this year I hope to score
With some funny jokes you've never heard before.
I resolve not to tell a corny joke.
Hello, what's that? The church burned down? Holy smoke!
This is my New Year's Resolution.

In this coming year I'm going to be discreet.
Have the Slicker's playing music soft and sweet.
I resolve to treat Tchaikovsky tenderly
And set his second movement with TNT.
This is my New Year's Resolution.

Via Crosley's Ghost.

The AP reports that the murder trial for Reginald Riddle, implicated in the 2003 death of Reds prospect Dernell Stenson, is set to begin next week. The state and the defense have been meeting to resolve the case with a plea agreement.

I imagine we'll all be following this with intense interest.

Here at the end of December, the Nationals signing Ramon Ortiz counts as Reds news, so I cleaned my desk.

Enjoy!

Friday, August 19, 2005
Lindner Finds Way to Enjoy Reds' Season
CINCINNATI, OH -- Reds' owner Carl Lindner has been busy on the phone lately.

Lindner got Ken Griffey Jr.'s heart pumping on Thursday when he called. However, Lindner wasn't calling about sending Griffey to Chicago, but rather to offer tickets to a tennis tournament.

Lindner sent a similar jolt through Rich Aurilia when he called at 5 this morning.

“I'm not a 10-5 guy, so I didn't know why a trade would require a call from the owner,” said Aurilia, “But I started getting really excited about it anyway.”

Aurilia's call began the same as Griffey's: a secretary announced that Lindner wanted to speak to him, followed by a long period of silence.

“But I don't think time was dragging on,” said Aurilia, “I think he actually left me hanging there for five minutes.”

Finally, Lindner answered the phone.

“He says, 'I bet you're wondering why I'm calling you,' and I say, 'I've got an idea,'” recounted Aurilia, “Then he says, 'You probably think I've got a trade in the works, right?' and I say 'Yeah.'”

That wasn't what Lindner had in mind, however. A couple of seconds of muffled laughter preceded Lindner's response.

“Then he all of a sudden shouts 'Psych!' and slams down the phone,” said Aurilia.

“It was really rude and immature.”

Asked to comment on the phone call, Lindner giggled like a little girl.

“After that, I called [Cardinals' manager] Tony La Russa and asked if he had his first baseman in a can,” hooted Lindner.

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According to Rotoworld, via GP at The Cincinnati Reds Report! (who received an invitation from me to drop a link to himself in my comments, and then proceeded to do so on every other Reds blog except mine--but I'm not bitter), Javier Valentín is tearing it up in the Puerto Rican league.

I'm not surprised. Well, yes I am. But mostly because I didn't realize Javy was playing anywhere this offseason. May he keep it up.

Also, according to our good friend Pat (who did visit RHM when invited. Hrumph!) at Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke? the Pirates have signed Joe Randa to a 1-year, $4 million contract. It's nice to know that Casey will have a friend there, at least until the trade deadline.

Thanks to redbird brain for getting me totally addicted to the penguin-hitting game. Like rbb, I topped out at 323.5, which makes me think that it's the highest score you can get. And yet, I can't stop clubbing these damn birds!

After so much talk about the importance of upgrading the rotation, here we are at the end of December, and the most excitement we've gotten out of our off-season transactions has been in the infield. Our beloved first baseman is gone, our third baseman is still a source of uncertainty, and we have something like six potential second basemen.

The situation at second base is interesting, isn't it? It sounds like everyone assumes that if Rich Aurilia comes back, second base is just his. But if Aurilia doesn't come back, it's a fight between Ryan Freel and Tony Womack.

Womack has said in the papers how he intends to go out and win the position, even after the Reds said that they planned to use him as a utility player. Meanwhile, Freel has said in the papers that he's not bothered by the Womack signing and doesn't even really mind if he's the starter at second.

Last year, Aurilia was sort of like Womack is now, and Aurilia *did* manage to win a starting job out of spring training. But last year's Lopez wasn't like Freel is now. No, this year's will be a different kind of contest entirely.

I wonder whether Freel even wants to commit to second base. After all, what are the benefits of having a regular starting job over being the super-sub?

• More money. That's not really an issue for Freel now that he's got his multi-million dollar contract. With as much as manager Jerry Narron managed to squeeze Freel into the line-up last season, being a regular starter wouldn't even make Freel more likely to meet his incentives.
• More respect. At least, that used to be the case, but I think that Freel himself is changing that perspective. Nowadays, people talk about the entire class of super-subs as “Ryan Freel-type players” and rave about how undervalued they are.
• It's easier. But this is Freel we're talking about. He wouldn't *want* an easier job. His personality is going to strive to take on the most difficult challenge available.

Freel can take his prove-it-can-be-done attitude into spring training and completely blow Womack out of the water. Which would land him the starting job, which would get him an easier job and nothing to prove. Exactly what he wouldn't want.

Alternately, Freel can try to suppress his personality and go into spring training, take it easy now that he has his contract, keep himself healthy, and lose the starting job to the fired-up Womack. Which would get him the super-sub job he's so well-suited for, while requiring him to change the very part of himself that makes him well-suited for it.

Did I mention that he's also his own grandpa?

Quite a conundrum Freel has here. Unless, of course, the Reds bring back Aurilia. In that case, Aurilia gets second and Freel can go about his business of blowing Womack out of the water in the competition for the greatest super-sub. Freel may well suddenly be Aurilia's number 1 fan.

Either way, it's more interesting than the starting pitching.

Yesterday the Reds convinced catcher Jason LaRue to sign a two-year contract:

The deal allowed LaRue to avoid arbitration with Cincinnati and ensured his spot as the team's starter behind the plate. The 31-year-old will earn $3.9 million in 2006 and $5.2 million in 2007. If he is traded after Oct. 15, his 2007 salary jumps to $5.45 million automatically.

I'm psyched. LaRue is a good catcher, a hell of a guy, and just as hot as can be.

I caught a little bit of Andy Furman interviewing LaRue on WLW last night. He talked about being ready to step into the leadership role of the team, which will be a good thing. LaRue has a harder edge than Sean Casey could provide, but he still embodies the down-home goodness that has come to be a hallmark of the Reds culture. Maybe this nice guy won't lead the team to finish last for a change.

LaRue sounded more confident than I remember him being. I guess a good year will do that for you. And smarter, too, laying down some pretty sharp sarcasm a couple times. He's so good-looking that I think I assume he's not bright, and that's really not fair. I mean, if being attractive always made you vapid, then the Red Hot Mama's head would be as empty as the red level at Cinergy in August. Or, at least the yellow level.

LaRue got bonus points in my book for calling Furman “Seg” twice.

Back when I was doing the research for LaRue's Human League profile (which is in dire need of re-writing), I stumbled upon these entries at Outsports: The Home for Gay Sports Fans and Athletes. LaRue was very well-liked there, as evidenced by the fact that he was awarded the 2001 Brass Balls Award for Catchers and then named the Hot Red the next year. The same writer did both pieces, and I'd like to say that he has excellent taste, except he nominated David Eckstein for the Rookie Brass Balls award. Ew.

So, long-story-short: I'm pleased that we'll be enjoying the stylings of LaRue behind the plate for a while longer.

Now to lock-up the Latin Love Machine.

Well, almost: there are still a few kinks to work out. Thanks to my crack technical team, Red Hot Mama is now enjoying a new host, hopefully one that won't schedule “announced” “brief” down time that takes my site down unexpectedly for three days.

I hope to be catching up on all the excitement this afternoon (Chris Hammond, woo!). I still don't have access to my e-mail (rhm@red-hot-mama.com), so if I haven't responded to your message, it's nothing personal. Probably.

According to The Official Site, everyone's favorite human hummingbird Ryan Freel has signed a 2-year, $3 million-plus-incentives contract.

“It hasn't really sunk in,” Freel said. Understandably so. Freel will turn 30 during spring training; seems a little late for the hyperkinetic to finally be coming into their own. But he'll probably still be crashing into outfield walls and battling Godzilla Toe when he's 55.

“He is arguably one of the best lead-off hitters on our team,” said general manager Dan O'Brien. I wish that guy could put a cap on his emotions sometimes. It's so embarrassing when he gushes.

I, of course, am quite pleased, and I can't wait till my blog comes back online so I can gush about it myself.

Go Reds!