I know it’s hard to get pumped up to cast your 25 votes for Joey Votto today, or any of the Reds for that matter, with the kind of play we’ve seen on the field. In fact, I totally understand if you don’t do it today.

Just make sure you cast 50 tomorrow, when everything is sure to be looking up again

For me, it’s been a horribly overscheduled “holiday” weekend and I haven’t had time to vote since Friday. I’m using the missed-oral-contraceptive method to get back on track. For those of your who are dudes (shocking thought on a baseball site, I know) and not familiar, I’ll explain that if a woman taking oral contraceptives misses a pill, she’s supposed to take two pills the next night to catch up. If she misses two pills, she takes two the next two nights to catch up. If she misses more than three pills, she has to go celibate for the month.

Since I don’t think anyone wants that to happen, not missing more than three days is a high priority.

Remember, you get 25 votes per email address.

Reds Lineup:

• Cabrera, SS
• Cairo, 1B
• Phillips, 2B
• Rolen, 3B
• Gomes, LF
• Bruce, RF
• Stubbs, CF
• Hernandez, C
• Arroyo, P

Cardinals Lineup:

• Lopez, SS
• Ludwick, RF
• Pujols, 1B
• Holliday, LF
• Freese, 3B
• Rasmus, CF
• Molina, C
• Schumaker, 2B
• Garcia, P

I’m inordinately sad to see Cairo in the line-up again. I hope the rest of the team can cheer me up. Nick Lachey on the Cincinnati Bell commercial isn’t hurting, either.

Joey Votto is the All-Star-caliber first baseman for the Reds. Those of you very new to Reds fandom may never have heard of him because he hasn’t played since last Tuesday, and will continue to sit out even today. But trust me, you’ll want to hang around until he gets back. He’s something to see.

A now-infamous stiff neck is what has sidelined our hero, and apparently no amount of Swedish massage has been able to deposit him back at first base.

My theory for why Votto is suddenly feeling this mystery pain is that he’s seen the huge Vote Votto movement that’s sweeping the Internets (and real life, too: there were guys holding Vote Votto signs at the game last night) and has gotten himself so worked up about not letting everyone down that the psychological burden is translating to actual physical pain.

That, or meningitis. Sweet heavens, I hope they’ve ruled out meningitis.

In case it’s the former, and in case Joey’s reading right now: don’t worry, man. You can’t let us down. You have already succeeded, and that’s why this movement has been inspired to action in the first place.

We, on the other hand, still have a contribution to make in the form of 25 votes per email address.

Headed to Barnes and Noble at Newport on the Levee this afternoon to pick up a couple autographed copies of Wire-to-Wire Reds, by John Erardi and Joel Luckhaupt. I haven’t done more than flip through it yet, but the pictures alone make it a good buy, especially with Father’s Day coming up.

More detailed review to come. If you’d like to order one in the meantime, go to WireToWireReds.com

By virtue of the San Diego Padres loss to the Washington Nationals tonight, the Reds now own the best record in the entire National League.

A nice thought to go to bed with. Goodnight!

Joey Votto’s stiff neck is robbing me of the content that made it so easy to write these Vote Votto posts, so tonight I’m relying on the smile in street clothes to do the talking for me.

I’m beginning to get creative with the email addresses that I’m using for the All Star Voting. Back when I was the president of the Indiana chapter of a professional society, I set up Gmail accounts for all the officers.

The chapter has since dissolved, but the email addresses remain, and I don’t think anyone’s going to much mind if I use them.

Speaking for myself, I’ve now voted 25 times per day, 5 days in a row. If I can do this 30 more days in a row, that’ll be 875 votes all together. That’s not bad, but obviously I can’t get him there by myself. You need to vote too!

You can vote online 25 times per email address.

Ryan Freel, the craziest damn sumbitch you ever loved to watch hurl himself into the stands or steal home, officially retired this month.

The 34-year old was dealing with hip flexor issues, but that was only the latest in a long line of self-imposed injuries and certainly not the reason. Legends are not cut down by hip flexor issues.

It was just his time to walk off into the sunset. Well, dash blindly backward into a wall en route to the sunset, anyway.

Baseball will miss his antics on the field (remember four stolen bases in one game?) and off (remember the disorderly conduct outside the pool hall/sushi bar?) but I’m confident he’ll continue to live it up in his non baseball life. Someday I just expect to see a story in my local paper, picked up off the wire for the sheer weirdness of it, about a Florida man and the wacky way he and his little friend Farney mow the lawn.

When the preliminary counts came in for the NL first basemen, Albert Pujols was the leading the pack by a-freakin’-lot. However, that was all based on mindless following and an absurd continuation of the expectations of the past rather than an understanding of the present.

All that is a long-winded way to say that Pujols is having a truly shitty May. Let’s compare the true All Star, Joey Votto, to “Prince” Albert for this month so far:

That’s right: Pujols’ SLG is .384 in the month of May. Is that All Star caliber? Is it??

Let your voice be heard, and let it be heard to say that actual performance is more important than a big name. Vote Votto!

You can vote online 25 times per email address.

The level of sarcasm is, of course, up to you. Said sarcasm probably depends on whether you’re asking about his kick-ass performance last night or his crappy 90s grunge music.

Bronson Arroyo will be answering questions in an online chat on Reds.com today at 3 p.m. You can go there RIGHT NOW to get your question in the queue.