From CentreDaily.com, the first place that popped on Google with the story, though I’m sure it’s all over the place by now:

CINCINNATI — The NL Central-leading Cincinnati Reds got Jim Edmonds from the Milwaukee Brewers for Chris Dickerson on Monday, strengthening their outfield for a playoff run.

Let’s go to the quick hits:

• That’s right folks! Now that the Reds are finally fielding an outfielder over the age of FORTY, they are playoff ready.
• Having run out of currently good ex-Cardinals to sign, Walt Jocketty turns to those who were awesome in the 90s in his effort to Cardinal-ify the Cincinnati clubhouse. Next up: Mark McGwire.
• This just in: George Grande to come out of retirement.
• I just threw up in my mouth a little.

If the Reds go to the World Series this year, Dusty Baker will manage the NL All-Star team in 2011. Dude, that team would have an ass-load of Reds on it. Like, enough to make up for the last decade.

Of course, knowing Baker, that team would also have an ass-load of random crappy ex-Cubs. Corey Patterson, Neify Perez, and Jerry Hairston, Jr. FTW!

This headline is the number one story on The St. Louis Cardinals’ official site, and I clicked right away hoping to read about another Tony-LaRussa-falling-asleep-in-an-intersection type extravaganza.

The stupid story didn’t even mention the beach, though, it was just a bunch of stuff about kicking the Florida Marlins while they’re already down.

Here’s hoping for a similarly misleading headline about the Reds picking on the Cubs this afternoon. Perhaps something about Edinson Volquez throwing a stein hoist in the bleachers.

From the Reds marketing email this week:

Send your questions for Bronson Arroyo
Get your questions in now for our next Redlegs Q&A – this time with Reds pitcher Bronson Arroyo! Better Off Red’s Jamie Ramsey will sit down with Bronson later this month to get answers to questions from you. Send yours to [email protected] and be sure to include your name and where you’re from!

Corn rows, crappy ’90s guitar music, nutritional supplements, pining for Boston, the likelihood that he won’t be around next season…the list of potential topics for questions is practically limitless. Ask him how it feels to hang around with great starting pitchers for a change.

At long last, Alex Rodriguez has hit home run #600, and we’ll finally get to stop having our television coverage cut to Yankees games every time he freakin’ comes up to bat. At least, for a couple weeks, until he gets to 608 and on the precipice of surpassing Sammy Sosa.

Which, of course, brings to mind the ultimate record he’ll need to beat, and the tool who holds it. It rankles that Barry Bonds is the owner of that record, what with his steroids and his general tool-ery.

But, you know, the guy who holds the second place record is still around, and only eight home runs out of first.

So, here’s my plan: someone signs Hank Aaron for this season and the rest of next season to give him the chance to get those eight homers. It would have to be an AL team–at age 76, Aaron isn’t going to have much range–and probably one that loses a lot anyway, so that the other team can get up early and then be willing to serve up BP to Aaron in the late innings.

I think this is a great plan. Not only does everyone feel great about the record and the equal opportunity extended to the elderly, but ESPN gets tons of stuff to break into their regular coverage for.

Kansas City Royals, let’s make this happen.