Last game
At 5:30 p.m. yesterday the Reds and Phillies took the field to complete the game from the day before. Only the bottom of the ninth needed to be played for a regulation game, so the Reds were up to bat first in front of a crowd of literally tens of people. It makes sense that people didn’t come out: it might have taken a little as one pitch to finish off the game in a walk-off, and then they would have had nothing to do till the next game started but walk around trying to find signal for their phones.

It was more than one pitch, but it was still only about 10 minutes for Zack Cozart to single, Joey Votto to walk, Brandon Phillips to reach on an error, and Jay Bruce to single in the winning run. Do those other guys count as stranded runners?

That set up the Reds to try for the sweep an hour later. This match-up didn’t look as favorable, with Mike Leake going out against a pretty hot pitcher for Philly. But the offense put the hurt on John Lannan, touching him for 6 runs in 1.2 innings. Cozart and–get this–Leake each had 3-hit games and scored 6 of the Reds’ eventual 11 runs. Meanwhile, Reds pitching held the Phils to just 2.

Next game
It’s Johnny Cueto’s turn to pitch, but he’s hurt, remember? So they’ll be sending down young Justin Freeman who initially took Cueto’s roster spot and instead bring up Tony Cingrani (LHP, 0-0, -.– ERA).

Cingrani’s really been something special in the minors, but he’s going up against another young phenom in Jose Fernandez (RHP, 0-0, 0.82 ERA). Frenandez has been crazy-good for the Marlins so far, but he won’t even be drinking age until the end of July. It could be an unpredictable game.

First pitch at 7:10 p.m.

Things Joey Votto is not paid to do
Yesterday, the Cincinnati Enquirer’s Paul Daugherty told the world that Joey Votto is not paid to “get on base and score runs.” In response, Reds fans took to the Twitters during last night’s game, to list several other things that Joey Votto is not paid to do. Among them:

Joey Votto’s not paid to get hit by pitches! Right, @enquirerdoc?

— Red Reporter (@redreporter) April 17, 2013

and

Joey Votto does not get paid to do yoga in the batters box. @ctrent

— Doug Smith (@misterMRfresh) April 18, 2013

and of course

@ctrent “Joey Votto doesn’t get paid to be part of memes!”

— Joel Luckhaupt (@jluckhaupt) April 18, 2013

In the spirit of bandwagon jumping, we here at RHM have created the Things Joey Votto isn’t paid to do Tumblr. Go check out some of the ideas that are already out there and submit your own.

What to say to sound smart at the water cooler
With 427 wins, Dusty Baker is now the fifth winningest manager in Cincinnati Reds history, after

• Sparky Anderson (1970–1978, 863 wins)
• Bill McKechnie (1938–1946, 744 wins)
• Jack Hendricks (1924–1929, 469 wins)
• Fred Hutchinson (1959–1964, 443 wins)

He’s likely to get to #3 before this season is done. Dang, I never would have guessed that was going to happen 5 years ago.

Last game
Technically, last night’s game still isn’t over, so does it qualify as the “last game”?

Homer Bailey was just spectacular last night before the rain stopped the 0-0 game after the top of the ninth inning. He struck out 10 in his 8.0 innings of work and Aroldis Chapman put the team over the 11-K limit needed to get attendees a free pizza. Assuming they’re still doing that promotion this season.

The game will be continued at 5:30 p.m. today. If you had tickets to last night’s game, you can exchange them for tickets to tonight’s game and see both the continuation and tonight’s game. If you had tickets to tonight’s game, you can also see both the continuation and tonight’s game.

Next game
The Reds go for the sweep or the series win tonight against Philadelphia at 7:10 p.m. Mike Leake (RHP, 0-0, 6.75 ERA) tries for his first win of the season against John Lannan (LHP, 0-0, 2.77 ERA).

What is a uessi?
I don’t like to read a lot of Reds sports reporting in the legitimate media because I find the authors of it to be either unbearably smug or entirely nonsensical. In the category of “both,” there is Paul Daugherty “respectfully” disagreeing with someone who thinks it’s great how much Joey Votto walks:

That’s not to say he won’t pick it up. I’m thinking it’s just a matter of time. Dude’s a great hitter. But the notion that how he’s hitting now is somehow terrific just misses the mark, and badly.

If he were being paid $17 mil to get on base and score runs, fine. He’s not.

Votto isnt Ted Williams, who walked a lot and did everything else a No. 3 guy does. He’s not Bonds. Walking is one component of being a great hitter. uessi

Except for the people who regard walks as basepath cholesterol, I think we all can agree that walks are a universe better than outs and somewhat less thrilling than hits.

But Votto’s not swinging in a vacuum. Someone else is deciding where the pitch is going. If the ball isn’t anywhere close, he can’t hit it. So stop acting like 21 walks are all his damn fault or that they mean he’s in a damn slump because the damn pitchers are damn nibbling.

Also, what the hell does “uessi” mean? That part of the stream-of-conciousness breaks off so abruptly, I thought it might be an acronym, but the only meaning I can find for it online is that it’s apparently the Turkish word for “expontential.”

What to say to sound smart at the water cooler
Yes, if you had tickets to tonight’s game you can go to the continuation of last night’s game at 5:30. I already said that. Stop asking about it in the comments of all the Reds’ news stories and Facebook posts.

Last game
The Reds snapped their 5-game losing streak last night against the Phillies when they won 2-4.

Bronson Arroyo put in a good long outing, going 8.0 innings and allowing 2 runs (earned) on 5 hits. Cliff Lee was nearly as efficient and put up 6 quick, scoreless innings before a Joey Votto single, Brandon Phillips double, and 10-pitch walk to Jay Bruce threw him off his game.

Phillips was the offensive star, with his 2-for-4 night and 2 RBI. Derrick Robinson also earned some of the limelight with his pinch-hit for Arroyo that eventually scored one of the runs. It didn’t hurt that he shares his name with the day we were celebrating, either.

Next game
Tonight the Reds try to start a winning streak to even out that losing streak they just broke. Homer Bailey (RHP, 1-1, 5.73 ERA) goes against Kyle Kendrick (RHP, 1-1, 5.40 ERA) for the Phillies tonight at 7:10 p.m. in Cincinnati.

Bobble your head if you think Phillips is pretty awesome
The Reds have their first bobblehead giveaway of the season this weekend. They’ll be handing out this bobbling version of Brandon Phillips to the first 30,000 tickets through the gates as they take on the Marlins at 1:10 p.m.

They’re also doing that 4 for $48 deal this weekend where you get 4 tickets and 4 orders of BW3 boneless wings for $48. Which raises many questions, such as: “Are the orders of wings really as good as they look in the picture?”, “If there aren’t bones, are they really wings?”, and “Don’t bobbleheads also seem to be kind of boneless?”

What to say to sound smart at the water cooler
In honor of Jackie Robinson Day, Harlem Globetrotter “Slick” Willie Shaw was the Reds’ honorary captain yesterday.