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Oct 26,
2005

World Series Smack

By Amanda

Tonight bellyscratcher and I join up to discuss the finer points of game four of the World Series that might just see the Chicago White Sox sweep the Houston Astros.

We saw the Astros play all season, so it shouldn't be too much of a surprise to learn that they're not the best team in the land, but swept? In the World Series? I mean, when was the last time that happened?

116 comments to “World Series Smack”

  1. 1
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I’m gonna be a little late cause of traffic and I think I might pick up some beer. Oh, and for some reason the # of comments isn’t showing up on bellyitcher, but they’re there.

  2. 2
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Smack cross-posted at [url=http://bellyitcher.blogspot.com/2005/10/look-whos-choking-too.html]bellyitcher[/url]

    Take your time. I’m feeling real weird tonight, maybe coming down with something, so I’ll use your beer run to take a cat nap.

  3. 3
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Ok, I’m home. Let’s Go White Sox.

  4. 4
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I’m sorry you’re not feeling well. There’s something going around my office I’m trying to avoid.

  5. 5
    bellyscratcher Says:

    THE BEES MUST STOP

  6. 6
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    OK, the kid is put to bed. Did I miss anything good?

  7. 7
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Tim McCarver was talking. So, no.

  8. 8
    bellyscratcher Says:

    President Bush has disappointing teeth.

    Wow, I wanted Backe to get hit with a line drive and it happened. Now, for my next wish….

  9. 9
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    I hope that if the series ends tonight, that Chevy gives the MVP a car again. Maybe a Nova. The kind you have to push start.

  10. 10
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    I can’t believe they’ve said "breaking ball" so many times and Scooter still hasn’t shown up.

  11. 11
    bellyscratcher Says:

    How about a ’73 Impala? That’s about what the country thinks of this series.

  12. 12
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Hush! You don’t want to give them ideas.

  13. 13
    bellyscratcher Says:

    These games take forever, don’t they? I don’t know how I made it through last October.

  14. 14
    bellyscratcher Says:

    So, we once again find ourselves needing an outfielder. I think Jason Marquis and his sinker would fit well in your teeny park. You ya gonna give me?

  15. 15
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Hmmm…let’s see. There are the usual suspects, of course, but I think you should consider Jacob Cruz. He’s a great pinch hitter, can occasionally run for himself, and is just a helluva guy.

  16. 16
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Or, if you don’t like that one, little Ray Olmedo has been willing to try out his outfield chops. He’s cute as a button and might make Eckstein look tall.

  17. 17
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Or you can have Dunn. He’s pretty worthless.

  18. 18
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Well, see, we’ve got lots of lovely bench players. Nunez, Rodriguez, Taguchi. And they’re all sweethearts. I’m looking for a young everyday guy who’s possibly a jerk. Say, around $5 million.

  19. 19
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I know of lots of people who would love Dunn.

  20. 20
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I love the triple.

  21. 21
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Dunn doesn’t get any triples.

  22. 22
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Dunn’s a big boy, isn’t he? I’m not in his fan group. Too many Ks. We have Jimmy and Reggie for that. Need a higher OPB guy.

  23. 23
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    My crack technical staff discovered some post statistics on RHM, and I think it’s a testament to you that eight of the ten most viewed posts are smack talk.

    Of course, lots of those views are us, but still…

  24. 24
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Actually, the strikeouts are misleading there. Dunn’s on base like crazy.

  25. 25
    bellyscratcher Says:

    The smack talk is a crowd pleaser on bellyitcher as well. I can only see individual page views, but they’re all in the top group.

    Yeah, Adam does walk. And hit home runs. And strike out. Let’s call the GMs and tell them to get the deal done. That job’s not so hard.

  26. 26
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    I want more than Marquis for him, though. Lots of people think Dunn’s all that, while on the other hand, I had Marquis on my fantasy team and know better.

  27. 27
    bellyscratcher Says:

    We’ll throw in Ray King.

  28. 28
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    There’s someone who can THROW Ray King??

  29. 29
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Our GM is amazing. And Dunn has a giant melon. We gotta balance things out a bit.

  30. 30
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    So do fans at World Series games just stand the entire time?

  31. 31
    bellyscratcher Says:

    In the four times the Cards have been in my lifetime, I’ve never been to a World Series game. But I think they do until they stop serving beer.

  32. 32
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Ah beer…it fortifies the legs of the weary fans and warms the crazy shirtless dudes with crap painted on their chests.

    Are there any of those tonight? I haven’t noticed any, but sure there must be some somewhere.

  33. 33
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I need to be meaner to the Astros.

    Berkman is fat.

  34. 35
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I haven’t seen any. But the Astros fans aren’t very smart, so there should be plenty of guys with crap painted on their chests.

  35. 36
    bellyscratcher Says:

    OK, Sox. Time to wake up the bats. This is Brandon Backe for Pete’s sake.

  36. 37
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Damn, four innings down and still scoreless. These guys do remember the part about hitting the ball, right?

  37. 38
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I’m not sure. I think they just like to wave at it and watch.

  38. 39
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Four and a half and still no score. I hope this isn’t another of those extra inning affairs.

    Of course, now Houston’s up. Maybe they can finally get that lead they’ll be giving up later.

  39. 40
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Ooooh, I hope Lidge gets the loss.

  40. 41
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    You think they’ll risk putting him in again?

  41. 42
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Ha ha. Get the DP even with the hit and run.

  42. 43
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Well, darn it all, the Astros are going to get that lead by hitting into double plays.

    Seriously, it’s the fifth and still no Scooter. Are they saving him up to take over for McCarver in the eighth?

  43. 44
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Yeah, Lidge did fine yesterday. Too bad Albert wasn’t there for the Latino thing earlier. Would’ve scared Brad’s pants off.

  44. 45
    bellyscratcher Says:

    How did these assholes beat us?

  45. 46
    bellyscratcher Says:

    They do get a car!

  46. 47
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    The Astros were better than this while beating your guys. Unfortunately, now they’re emulating your guys.

  47. 48
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    That car thing is totally lame. What car could possibly be valuable enough that it would really be a treat for a baseball player? It ain’t no Chevy, I can tell you that.

    Now a Dodge on the other hand. That Prowler’s really something.

  48. 49
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Pretty much. The Astros are rising to a Cub-level of annoyance for me. The Cubs are cute and bad. The Astros are not either.

  49. 50
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I think the MVP should get a wood paneled PT Cruiser. In team colors.

  50. 51
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    PT Cruiser? If it’s wood paneled, it’s gotta be a station wagon.

  51. 52
    bellyscratcher Says:

    The PT woodies are the ugliest cars outside of the Scion. An ex co-worker had a purple one. Shudder.

  52. 53
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Buehrle is a HUGE Cards fan.

  53. 54
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    If they didn’t want the car, the sponsors ought to offer alternate prizes, like gift certificate to Bob Evans and Red Lobster.

  54. 55
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Oh, that made me laugh. Bob Evans.

    Have you noticed that Fox couldn’t get any celebrities to go to Houston? That’s pretty damning.

  55. 56
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Well what the heck famous fans do the Astros and White Sox have? Actually, it would have been a great opportunity for some B-star to get some face time just by going to a baseball game.

  56. 57
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Hello man in a salmon pink shirt. You’re color palatte matches the ability of your team.

  57. 59
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    You mean "rosy"?

    Actually, and forgive me for my incredible crudeness, my dad used to call salmon pink "dog dick pink." That’s probably closer to the level of quality you meant, huh?

  58. 60
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    2 outs, 0-2, bases loaded in the bottom of the 6th. Astros choke-fest underway.

  59. 62
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Yes. That describes the color perfectly. It’s like "baby shit yellow" Volvos.

    Is there a more gimmicky park than Minute Maid?

  60. 63
    bellyscratcher Says:

    You are smart. That strike out is gonna hurt.

  61. 64
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    What the heck? It’s the freaking seventh inning and still no score. Are they trying to bore each other to death?

  62. 65
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    And a great big BOO to the pathetic excuses for signs in the stands tonight. Do they have total lame-asses handing them out out front?

  63. 66
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Again, the Astros fans are not smart. They live in Texas. Witty to them means something to do with oil. What, I don’t know, but something.

  64. 68
    bellyscratcher Says:

    The standings are lopsided, but these have been some damn good games.

  65. 69
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Crede hits the deep double and they hold the runner? Do they [em]like[/em] this scoreless crap?

    Of course, it was deep to left, not a lot of room for running there. I reckon.

  66. 70
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    You’re right; you can tell these teams are really very evenly matched right now.

    Weird, cause I saw the ‘stros play this season. Guess it’s all about the momentum.

  67. 71
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I think they do like it. I can’t explain it otherwise. Y’all.

  68. 72
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    As old as Barbara Bush looked when we were kids, she doesn’t look much older now. Must be them Texas victuals.

  69. 73
    bellyscratcher Says:

    I dunno if I’d say they’re all that very evenly matched, Astros can’t hit for shit. But the WS pitching hasn’t been as nails as it was against the Angels, either. I’d say the Astros have been let into games rather than getting into them for themselves, if you follow.

    A decent singing for once. Nice.

  70. 74
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    I’m talking out my ass. I haven’t even been watching. I just overheard someone say that they were evenly matched.

    No kidding, a solid 2/3 of the stuff you read on RHM is me blowing smoke. I’m all bluff.

    Holler.

  71. 75
    bellyscratcher Says:

    No, in a way you’re totally right, they’ve been very close games. A call here, a bounce there and we’re looking at a very different series. The difference is, as in the NLCS, the better team takes advantage of those "breaks" more than the lesser team.

    Grits.

  72. 76
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Or I could be talking out of my ass. Who knows? Baseball is funny that way.

  73. 78
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    A run! Oh happy day!

    Yonder.

  74. 79
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    I think it would be really cool to be a resource for people who bluff about baseball. Like, the new guy on the company outing to a game wants something to say that will make him sound witty and knowledgable so he comes to RHM and goes to the game saying "suckitude" and "demmit."

    Or in the case of this game, "consarnit"

  75. 80
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Talking out of your ass is an art form, no doubt. Especially re: baseball. It’s so easy to throw out things like VORP and ERA+ and astound your audience even if you have no idea what they mean.

    Love how Joe manages to work the Cardinals in.

    Uh oh. No extra outs.

  76. 81
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Taveras didn’t want those fingers anyway. But shouldn’t that be a strike? The hands are an extension of the bat, aren’t they?

  77. 82
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Doubleplaydoubleplaydoubleplay…

  78. 87
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    prone.

    Ah. That’s better.

  79. 88
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Pitching change? I thought the HBP and wild pitch were part of their strategy.

  80. 89
    bellyscratcher Says:

    So many St. Louis boys.

  81. 90
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Sorry, I had to reboot.

    Lidge is toast.

  82. 91
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    When was the last time an NL team won a WS game? Sigh.

  83. 92
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Doofus. What was that miserable excuse for a bunt?

  84. 93
    bellyscratcher Says:

    2003 World Champion Marlins.

  85. 94
    bellyscratcher Says:

    That bunt made baby Jesus cry.

  86. 95
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Oh, don’t cry! Someone’s about to win a Chevrolet!

  87. 96
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Three outs to go.

    I wouldn’t mind this going to 7 games. I’m really really going to miss baseball.

  88. 97
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Yeah, me too. But it’ll be good to have a bit of a break. I’ve got some administrative stuff I’ve been needing to work on, plus I’ve got a handful of offseason ideas. Definitely be on the lookout for the Georginator 5000.

  89. 98
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Lane gets a hit to start off the bottom of the ninth. I did NOT think that was going to fall.

  90. 99
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Nice, Ausmus. Good to see that someone in this game knows how to bunt.

  91. 100
    bellyscratcher Says:

    The Cardinals radio guy, Mike Shannon, pronounces his name "Assmass." It’s how I like to think of him.

  92. 102
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Holy shit, Uribe.

  93. 103
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Well, there you go. After that catch in fowl territory, that last out seems anticlimactic.

    Who’s turn is it next year? Cubs?

  94. 104
    bellyscratcher Says:

    What a play to end it.

    WHOOOOO HOOOOOOOO

    So this is what it feels like to watch a sweep and not care. I like it.

    Congratulations to the White Sox. The (2nd) best team in the game won. Not a stupid Wild Card.

  95. 105
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    But who gets the car???

  96. 106
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Good question.

    Think how sad Cub fans must be.

  97. 107
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Shoeless Joe can rest easy. Very nice.

  98. 108
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    You know, there are crates full of "Astros 2006 World Championship" hats and shirts that will never see the light of day. Maybe we’ll run across some of them in a Big Lots some day.

  99. 109
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Maybe I can find a "Cardinals 2004 World Champions" shirt. :(

  100. 110
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Dye wins the car? Should be Crede.

  101. 111
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Oh yeah, I meant 2005. Dumb typo.

    Chevy SSR. w00t!

  102. 112
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    "Thank you, Mr. Chevy. Now I’m going to go drink my weight in champagne and drive that cheap-ass car around."

  103. 113
    bellyscratcher Says:

    You forgot: "On the outfield of this shithole of a stadium."

  104. 114
    bellyscratcher Says:

    Thanks for staying up with me, darlin’. I’ll see you next spring. Actually, hopefully, sooner. Stop by once in a while, and I’ll do the same. When the blockbuster trade between our teams goes down, we’ll have lots to talk about. Not least of which is relative hotness.

  105. 115
    Red Hot Mama Says:

    Woo, it *is* late. Alarm goes off in less than six hours. Ugh.

    I’ll be around; I don’t think I could stop if I wanted to. It’s been great fun. I look back at our first smack talk and all 12 barbs we traded and think, if nothing else, WE have grown this season.

    Next year ought to be good.

  106. 116
    bellyscratcher Says:

    You best be thinkin’ of smack all Spring Training. I know I will.

    (Sorry, still in Texas mode)

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