A foot of snow dropped on the Midwest last night. I spent all day shoveling the driveway–next year: snow blower–but it looks like a Cardinals fan in St. Louis saw the chance to make a masterpiece.

Just in case you missed the Reds Caravan this year, you can catch all the excitement, plus a few smart-ass remarks, in this podcast.

Tune in to hear Dusty telling it like it is and the thrilling origin of the Cowboy’s nickname.

All other things aside, my 7-year-old likes autographs, so we made an appearance at the Muncie stop of the Reds Caravan this weekend. Later we’ll have much of the audio, but for now, here are some photos.

The event started off with some opening words from George Grande and the rest of the panel of experts.

The line for autographs. The first guy in this line–who won that position via the local radio station–wore an “In Dusty We Trusty” t-shirt. The whole crowd was very pro-Baker.

George was funny and playful. He says they’ll be broadcasting 140-some games this season.

Free ice cream for everyone!

He looks like such a nice guy.

Dusty Baker, whom I will be proud to call the erstwhile manager of the Cincinnati Reds once his pathetic ass gets fired, has done it again. Baker opened his mouth and spewed forth a wonderful sentiment about Willy Taveras, the Reds new outfielder.

Dusty Baker said Willy Taveras will be the center fielder and leadoff man. “Everyone talks about his on-base percentage,” Baker said. “I like the way he gets in scoring position.”

Considering Taveras’ not-out percentage last year of 30%, the only logical interpretation of this quote is that Baker likes the way Taveras never gets in scoring position.

You show ‘em, Dusty!

P.S. Dunn and Dunner has a nice take on the article this was taken from, as well.

Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh about the Reds 2009 Caravan, but I haven’t been as disinterested in anything related to the Reds since the last strike. So I guess Dusty Baker is equal to the mid-90s strike in my mind. He’s like an atom bomb of suck.

Anyway, the Reds Caravan is this weekend and might be coming to a town near you. The team has done a great job of expanding this over the past few years. Now all they have to do is make the team not suck. Of course, with Dusty Baker at the helm, you know that’s impossible.

The premier attraction will be Brandon Phillips, no doubt wearing ear plugs on Marty “Adam Dunn killed my puppy” Brennaman’s bus. When I skimmed over the list of players, I was surprised at the lack of talented, recognizable players in attendance. And then I remembered, the Reds don’t really have any.

Sigh. It’s going to be a long 2009 baseball season.

How’s it going, World Baseball Classic? I guess you’re getting ready to do your thing and try to bring a little baseball goodness to the dreary winter months. That’s really nice of you.

Thing is–and I’m really sorry to be the one to tell you this–no one cares. I mean, I guess I can’t actually speak for everyone in the world, but no one I know cares. Maybe someone in Venezuela cares, assuming they aren’t too busy getting Lasik eye surgery.

So, if you could stop sending me emails telling me that tickets are on sale, I’d appreciate it. It makes you seem kinda, ya know, desperate and pathetic.

XOXO,
Red Hot Mama

When Clearly It’s Brad Thompson

I was reading this ESPN article about the Cardinals crowded outfield when I stumbled over this sentence.

Chris Duncan appears ready to reclaim playing time coming off cervical surgery.

Wait, what? Doesn’t one need a cervix to have surgery performed on it?

Reds 2-game packs for spring training games went on sale on Saturday, and I gotta say, this is a *brilliant* racket they’ve got going on. Bundle up tix to your impossible-to-get-into-games with tix to your can’t-give-em-away games and how can you go wrong?

Just take a look at these awesome combinations:
1: Twins and Phillies (not sure what that one’s about)
2: Yankees and Pirates
3: Red Sox and Pirates
4: Blue Jays and Red Sox
5: Yankees and Pirates

All those Pirates games are going to sell out, but no one’s actually going to be at them, since 90% of the tickets will have been purchased by Yankees or Red Sox fans.

They may also be empty due to this little confusion gem:

Daylight time starts March 8, folks!

Tatiana Tchamouroff is a massage therapist who battled her way past preconceived notions about the benefits of massage therapy and gender stereotypes about women in massage therapy to land a trusted and influential role with many MLB players and teams. I’d say it’s a story with a happy ending, but I bet she hears that one all the time.

Check it out at We’ve Got Heart.

Apparently everything is against the rules if you’re Indianapolis in overtime. And what a genius overtime setup they have in place there, too. I think that baseball should adopt the “first to score in extra innings” policy. I bet that would be a real improvement to the baseball experience.

For the Colts, I’m only a fair-weather fan. I’m set up for enough sports disappointment already with the Reds without casting in my lot with anyone else who isn’t already on a hot streak. But even so, this sucks. Mostly because, even though they won’t be playing anymore, I’ll still have to put up with all the football bullshit for the next two months. Damn, will spring training never arrive??