May 2, 2006

Cardinals Glad They’re Out of First

CINCINNATI, OH -- After years of dominating the National League Central, the St. Louis Cardinals find that they're relieved to be looking up to someone else for a change.

The Cincinnati Reds and St. Louis Cardinals entered yesterday's game tied for first place in the division, but after a 1-6 victory, the Reds found themselves in sole possession of the number one spot. Much to their surprise, the Cardinals were happy for them.

“It was nice to be shut down at the plate,” explained Cardinals first baseman Albert Pujols. “There's so much pressure to hit a home run. Being totally dominated is a nice change of pace.”

“When you're sharing the field with [Ryan] Freel, you're simply not going to be the best short, scrappy white guy in the game,” said Cardinals short stop David Eckstein. “It makes it so you're not always on the spot.”

Even Manager Tony LaRussa was happy to get out of the spotlight.

“I even got to take off these stupid sunglasses for a minute,” said LaRussa. “I might like to leave them off all season.”

38 comments to “Cardinals Glad They’re Out of First”

  1. Red Hot Mama says:

    You out there, RBB?

  2. I’m kinda sorta in and out of being able to pay attention.

  3. redbirdbrain says:

    I’ll be checking in! I was just about to take my lunch hour, but the top of the first looks promising (knock wood)…

  4. Red Hot Mama says:

    So Taguchi’s GameDay photo looks like E.T.

  5. redbirdbrain says:

    But he does look great in comparison to Dave Williams…

  6. Red Hot Mama says:

    Doesn’t everyone. I’m relieved that he got out of the top of the first with just one run scored.

  7. Red Hot Mama says:

    Dammit, what was that? Ponson is supposed to suck!

  8. Red Hot Mama says:

    Is there something wrong with your hitters, ladies? Surely Pujols, Edmonds, or Rolen aren’t afraid of little ol’ Williams?

  9. redbirdbrain says:

    Maybe we don’t need to use Pujols, Rolen, or Edmonds when Ponson is pitching and we’re playing the Reds!

    I mean, Won’t you feel embarrassed if you lost against today’s lineup?

  10. Rolen’s still fluish, Edmonds is sitting against the lefthander.

    Pujols is hurt.

  11. Red Hot Mama says:

    What’s hurt? His feelings after yesterday’s performance?

    He’s not about to join the likes of Derek Lee, is he?

  12. His back. I’m in a mild state of panic.

  13. Red Hot Mama says:

    It’s just tired from carrying the team. I bet he’ll be OK in a few days.

  14. Fear the wrath of Juan Encarnacion.

  15. Red Hot Mama says:

    NO! Bad, bad Williams!

    Thank goodness Luna was caught stealing.

  16. Red Hot Mama says:

    Yadi’s GameDay photo cracks me up. He thinks he’s such a badass. A slow, slow badass with a .146 batting average.

  17. He’ll cut you, mang.

  18. Red Hot Mama says:

    He’ll have to catch me first.

  19. Have you seen his caught stealing numbers? You could be standing 120 feet away and he’ll throw a dagger into your heart.

  20. Example: With Felipe LopezJr. batting, Yadier Molina picks off Ryan Freel at 1st on throw to Scott Spiezio.

  21. Red Hot Mama says:

    Do you suppose people called him “Scott Spazzio” as a kid?

  22. Red Hot Mama says:

    Come on, Reds. Where’s the freakin’ offense??

  23. Red Hot Mama says:

    Thank you, Mr. Dunn. May I have another?

  24. Wow. You’re good.

  25. Red Hot Mama says:

    Why thank you. I hope to get the chance to call a walk-off home run like you did in the game in the podcast. Dammit.

  26. Well, if Dunn gets another before the 9th and the Cards tie it up, you called it.

  27. Red Hot Mama says:

    I love it when Eckstein is HBP. Not that I approve of letting him on base; just that I’d love to smack him too.

  28. Why do I feel like the Cardinals are losing?

  29. Jimmy playing first. I don’t like where this is headed.

  30. Red Hot Mama says:

    Look: it’s a real red beard versus a freakish fake red beard.

  31. Red Hot Mama says:

    Real wins. (Go Coffey!)

  32. Ok, I gotta get something to eat. Enjoy the Reds’ loss!

  33. Red Hot Mama says:

    You’re going to be eating a long time before that happens, honey.

  34. Red Hot Mama says:

    Hell yeah! Go Javy!!

  35. redbirdbrain says:

    Oh the humanity… Swept by the Reds…