November 15, 2006

The Dick Pole Limerick Contest

Updated 11/14/2006 11:08 PM
Looks like I've knocked the Limerick Contest off the front page a solid two days before the deadline. I don't really want to sticky it, so I'm changing the date to bring it back to the top.

Originally posted 11/10/2006 12:30 AM
Some people have brought to my attention the fact that our new pitching coach, Dick Pole, has a somewhat amusing name. And since I can tell that people are just itching to use all their tasteless jokes, I saw an opportunity to provide the tasteless venue.

Hey, don't thank me. Serving the community is just what I do.

The task before you is to write the funniest Dick Pole limerick. To enter, submit your limerick in the comments on this post by 11:00 p.m. EST on Thursday, November 16. Enter as often as you like. The winner will be selected by which one makes me laugh the hardest, unless I can get the Crack Technical Staff to make me a poll by then. In which case the winner would be selected by poll. Pole poll.

The winner will receive the Reds crap I have lying around my desk, including but not limited to: a signed copy of the increasingly “collectible” Funnyball, a “Cincinnati GO REDS” bumper sticker that I picked up at the Reds caravan last year, and a fistful of Red Hot Mama matchbooks.

Good luck!

9 comments to “The Dick Pole Limerick Contest”

  1. Cub Fan Joe says:

    My name is Dick Pole
    Pimpin Hoes is my goal
    On the side, I coach the Reds
    But everyone knows I own the bed
    Dirk Diggler’s got nothin on the great Dick Pole

    I tried to keep it in the aabba format that a Limerick is supposed to be in.

  2. ohiobobcat says:

    There’s a man named Dick Pole from Nantucket

    He caused major league hitters to step in the bucket

    Roundabouts of once a year

    Ol Dick Pole would strike fear

    Amongst the Thai shemales in Phukhet

  3. sweaver says:

    There once was a man named Dick Pole
    Coaching major league pitchers his goal.
    Once in the Queen City
    The response wasn’t pretty
    So back to the porn circuit he stole.

  4. Zeldink says:

    Eh, I’ll bite.

    Dick Pole was the Reds pitching coach.
    A ladies man beyond reproach.
    When asked to describe
    him, his woman, she sighed,
    “You never miss his approach.”

  5. KC2HMZ says:

    There once was an old coach named Dick
    Who could teach pitchers wonderful tricks
    But he’d barter his soul
    To achieve his true goal:
    A name that did not suggest pricks.

  6. tempdjphob says:

    There once was a team in need
    Of someone able to lead
    To fill the hole
    They called Dick Pole
    To do the pitching deed

  7. tempdjphob says:

    There once was a man, Castellini
    Who owned a baseball team-y
    He hired coach Pole
    Because Dick had stole
    Pictures of Bob’s bikini

  8. BubbaFan says:

    Dick Pole has a talent that
    Few others can hope to excel at
    For when he’s hard
    The Reds can go yard
    Using Dick’s pole as a bat.

    (I always loved the guy’s name!)

  9. Glenn says:

    What Could I Do
    There once was a girl from trout creek
    who just wouldn’t stand for the prick
    so young Dick Pole
    couldn’t go to the hole
    instead she had to be licked.