Daily Archives: December 22, 2006

December 22, 2006

Speculation Swirls Over Griffey’s Broken Hand

You've probably heard by now that Ken Griffey, Jr. broke his throwing hand in a household accident. He's in a plaster cast for three weeks, and the team isn't releasing any more information than that.

Marc points out that the secrecy is just inviting speculation of the nature of the accident and the severity of the break:

You've probably seen by now that the Reds aren't going to release anything but the basic information Trent was kind enough to post earlier about the Griffey injury.

That's Griffey's call -- more so under the new Collective Bargaining Agreement, which further limits the disclosure of injury-related information. The argument certainly could be made to Griffey -- and no doubt has been -- that it probably would make things easier if the Reds just said what happened, to discourage speculation that inevitably will veer into the ridiculous. But he chose not to go that route, so there you have it.

Here at Red Hot Mama, we grin wickedly at the thought of providing some of that inevitably ridiculous speculation. In fact, I would feel like I was doing you a disservice if I didn't provide some unconfirmable and (probably) wildly inaccurate information.

So here goes.

I heard Griffey broke his hand while playing the Wii. You just know he has a Wii. He probably had the first one off the line. He probably already has sprites of himself built into all the games.

You know how the Wii-mote has you swinging your arms all over the place? He was taking a big tennis swing and knocked his hand, full-speed, into his solid-gold, life-size Chia Pet. Not only did it break his hand, but a bunch of the Chia seeds got embedded in his skin. They're now sprouting like crazy.

Worse yet, when he was jumping up and down in pain from the hand thing, he knocked his head something fierce on the over-sized replica of his own bat that hangs from his ceiling, temporarily losing his vision.

So let that be a lesson to all you kids out there. Don't play with your Wii so much: it will make your palms hairy and cause you to go blind.