In this case, though, it doesn’t seem to just be inferiority-complex-inspired crabbiness. Or, if it is, it’s on base.

It’s been over a year since Thom Brennaman started broadcasting for the Reds. Back then, I was very much against the idea of the team putting just another white guy in the booth (even if he was Marty’s son). Back then, I’d actually make the effort to turn off the audio on the television broadcast. Back then, I’d yell at the radio when Thom said something stupid.

Since then I guess I’ve just become numb to the constant stream of drivel. But this post at The Cub Reporter re-sensitized me to the wisdom of Thom. Some of the complaints in the blog post are just bitching, but not all, and that’s what makes this post special.

Some of the jabs are directed at Chris Welsh, and Chris may say some dumb stuff sometimes, but he’s really a genuinely good color guy. When Thom first started last year, my favorite parts of his broadcasts were when he’s say some inane or irrelevant or obviously made up thing and Chris would go silent, apparently as he tried to come up with a non-confrontational to say what was on everyone’s mind, namely: “Thom, you ignorant slut.” In fact, the quality of Chris’s commentary and his desire to be non-confrontational could be part of the problem.

Even though the Reds aren’t going to get rid of Marty’s son any time soon, I can see two different directions the team could go to improve Thom’s image:

1. Hire me. I’ve got two whole years of nearly weekly podcasting experience that I could put to use in a nightly broadcast with Thom. Unlike Chris, though, I would be perfectly willing to call Thom out. “Do you have any proof to back that up?”, “Don’t you think that sweeping generalization may be unfair to some right-handed hitters?”, and “How about you just stop talking for a while?” would be my popular catch phrases.

2. Hire Joe Morgan. Rather than trying to call out the inanity, make a sport of it. Thom’s lack of actual baseball knowledge against Joe’s lack of actual sense. Watching them try to outdo each other will become even more interesting than the game on the field, not that that’s too tough when the Reds are playing. Though Joe will be at a disadvantage, since his frequent references to his Reds career will suddenly seem sort of relevant.

The more that I think about it, the more obvious this seems. The Reds need to hire Joe Morgan to make Thom Brennaman look better by comparison. They need to do it now, even before addressing the manager situation.

You’ve heard of FireJoeMorgan.com. Now, we at Red Hot Mama have registered the domain HireJoeMorgan.com (can you believe it was available??) I’m not sure yet what we’re going to do with it, but I’m sure it’ll be no problem. An idea this good writes itself. If nothing else, I can fill it with inferiority-complex-inspired crabbiness; this is the Reds we’re talking about after all.