June 24, 2009

Arroyo Sucking isn’t Funny Anymore

Come to think of it, it’s never been funny.

On the one-year anniversary of his Worst Start Ever, Bronson Arroyo took the mound on the same day, against the same team, to suck nearly as badly. I was late coming home because of an after-work meeting (don’t go reading anything into it; it was only as wild as seven technical writers can get while talking about good-faith efforts to lead a chapter of an international society through troubled financial times. Over beer) and so the Reds were already down by 6 when I got in.

Several minutes later, I realized it was the second inning. Jeepers.

Now in the bottom of the 8th, the Reds trail 2-8 and Arroyo has been chased. For the second night in a row, the Blue Jays are trouncing the Reds. Are the blue birds even good? I’ll go check their standings. Hold on.

Third in the AL East. Oh brother. This interleague play is killing me. This is the freaking Royals all over again. And going to the Blue Jay’s website gave me the opportunity to see the headline for tonight’s game: “Blue Jays jump on Reds’ Arroyo again”

At least Votto continues to play. When the camera zooms in on him at the plate I wonder: is he tamping down the anxiety to get through this at-bat? Is the panic continuing to threaten, creeping in on the peripheries of his awareness? I hope not, and I recommend Xanax, if it doesn’t cause you to test positive for any MLB-rule-breaking substances. In a purely technical sense, it would be performance-enhancing, compared to dealing with the ailment.

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