Forget about the Large Hadron Collider in Geneva. The danger of particles creating a micro-black holes large enough to destroy the galaxy is nothing compared to the danger of B-Phil and J-Roll on the same field at the same time. What would happen should these two middle-infielding celestial bodies collide? The gravity well of awesomeness might consume the Milky Way in three-tenths of a second (or the amount it takes to flip a double-play ball, whichever is shorter).
Or worse, we might be sent back in time to the Dave Miley era. Argh! Someone moved Adam Dunn’s armchair!
On this night, though, we escaped the galactic destruction and just saw the B-Phil side of the equation win out. Probably it was the universe evening out his recent arrest somehow. 72 in a 35? Hasn’t he seen the commercial where the lady stops just in time to avoid hitting the dumb girl who runs out into the road in front of her, only to be rear-ended herself? Talk about a Pay It Forward ending.
Johnny Cueto was kickin’ it, giving up one earned run on six hits and two walks through eight innings. Bill Bray was somewhat less awesome, giving up a two-run homer in his single inning of work. Lucky for him, the 18 ERA he earned in his first appearance in the majors this season wasn’t so much of a problem, what with the offense coming through with the seven runs and all.
Orlando “Lando” Cabrera, Joey “Vote” Votto, Ramon “Filling in” Hernandez, and Chris “Why must the outfield be so full” Heisey each contributed an RBI to that total, with Scott “Keep this inning” Rolen came through with the other three.
He also smacked his 300th career home run tonight, with him family in attendance and everything. Boy, that was easy. I remember when Ken Griffey, Jr. used to approach those big round numbers and it would take a damn month for him to actually hit it.
Tomorrow the Reds send Mike Leake out against Joe Blanton at 7:10 p.m.
On an unrelated note:
The other day, MLB sent me an email inviting me to return to the All-Star voting page. Of course, I had long since voted 25 times, but when I went back, I was able to cast 25 more votes. I took a glance at the rules, but it wasn’t clear to me whether you could vote 25 times per day, but why not go and try it for yourself?