REDS BEAT WRITER. Accomplished writer needed to ask softball questions and eschew inverted pyramid construction. Copy-edting experiense needed. Call Enquirer.
MANAGER. Strong leader needed to inspire underperforming staff. Must not move furniture. Call John A.
LOST & FOUND
LOST: VIBRATING MASSAGE CHAIR. Needed for “therapy.” REWARD. Call Adam.
LOST: 21 BASEBALLS. Last seen flying over outfield wall. Call Eric.
LOST: BAT. Call Austin.
FOUND: ENORMOUS HR HITTER. Found in Louisville; needs a major league home! Call Bats.
BIONIC ARM. Runs good but stalls in the 6th. Call Brandon.
51.5% NON-CONTROLLING SHARES High-ceiling, underperforming team. Buy low! Call Louise.
RUMMAGE & YARD SALES
EVERYTHING MUST GO in fire sale. 100 Main St, Cincy. 7/30-7/31. 6 a.m. - midnight.
WANTED TO BUY
SOMETHING TO CHEER ABOUT. Call Gapper.
A CLUE. Call Dave M.
RHP SEEKS TEAM for walks, hits, and minor cardiac infarction with a clubhouse favorite. Must not boo. No fatties. Call Danny.
STUD STARTER SEEKS OFFENSIVE LINE-UP for a caring friendship and adequate run support. Call Aaron.