CINCINNATI, OH -- Three St. Louis ball players were spotted in a local department store this afternoon purchasing pencils, paper, and other supplies after hearing that they were going to be “taken to school” this evening.
Reggie Sanders showed off the label maker he'd gotten to identify all of his things. “I can make stickers with my name,” said the Card's left-fielder. “See? 'Reginald Laverne Sanders.' Isn't that cool?”
“I'm going to use it to count all my All-Star votes,” said first-baseman Albert Pujols of the calculator he'd bought. “Let's see, I voted for me once, so I push the 1. And you probably voted for me, so I'll push it again. That's 11 votes!”
Second baseman Mark Grudzielanek proudly sported the new Blue's Clues backpack that he picked out himself. “It's blue, just like my eyes,” he told reporters outside the store.
After the shopping expedition, the trio returned to their hotel. There, Tony La Russa explained that “taken to school” is just a figure to speech that described how bad the Reds were going to beat them after the major organizational shake-up that afternoon. The players were disappointed.
“I was all the way up to 111 votes!” said Pujols.