June 28, 2005

Pujols Causes Panic With Claim of Falling Sky

ST. LOUIS, MO -- Minor panic erupted in the Cardinals' clubhouse this afternoon when first baseman Albert Pujols ran into the room hysterically screaming that the sky was falling.

Little Albie, as he's popularly called, told his teammates that he'd heard the sound of something shattering and had felt things falling on his head. Ol' Bert, the facilities manager, was called to inspect the overhead lights, but the lights were in working order. He then checked the windows, but found them intact. He even checked the television, but there was no evidence of anything having broken. That's when Ol' Bert remembered the high post-season hopes.

“I checked 'em out, and sure 'nuff, they were caving in faster'n you can say 'early-season aberration',” said Ol' Bert.

With the mystery solved, calm returned to the clubhouse and the Cardinals went back to preparing to get trounced by the Reds.

57 comments to “Pujols Causes Panic With Claim of Falling Sky”

  1. Whew. Cards were out hit, but get the 2-1 win. Decent start from Mulder, to boot.

  2. Red Hot Mama says:

    Speaking of tomorrow, I might be late. Our Special O team is playing.

    Of course, we had torrential downpours today, so the field might be too mucky to play.

    Either way, there are no lights at our field, so we’ll have to wrap up before nightfall so I ought to make it back for the last part of the game if nothing else.

  3. The only beating the Reds will be doing is beating their heads against the clubhouse wall after they make several errors and give up home runs to Eckstein and Morris.

  4. Perhaps it’s best you miss the beginning of tomorrow’s game. You won’t have to witness the ugliness of the many, many Reds miscues.

    Regardless, good luck with your softball team.

  5. Red Hot Mama says:

    Yeah, like the dropped ball in center field. Oh, that was Edmonds.

    And thanks.

  6. Red Hot Mama says:

    You numbers people and your obsession with "wins."