Daily Archives: May 3, 2005

May 3, 2005

Scratching Up Trouble

Cross posted at bellyitcher.

Last night's win by the Cardinals was improbable AND totally unreproducable.

It's going to be cold tonight; I hope the Cards brought their long underwear because the Reds are gonna beat the pants off 'em.

May 3, 2005

Fans to Blame for Monday Loss

CINCINNATI, OH -- Review of the footage from Monday night's 10-9 loss to the Cardinals revealed that the loss was, in fact, the fault of the fans.

Close examination of the tape of Graves' delivery of the 1-1 pitch that resulted in a 3-run homerun off the bat of Jim Edmonds clearly showed that the reflection from a spectator's watch face shone directly in Graves' left eye.

More sensitive equipment was needed to identify the cause of the homerun to John Mabry, a fastball that wasn't fast enough. Seen through an ultra-violet filter, the film shows the waves of negative energy wafting off the crowd behind home plate toward the pitching mound. That wave of energy appears to have slowed the fast ball.

“I knew it couldn't have been my fault,” said Graves. Graves, previously thought to have lost the game, will have the loss expunged from his record.