CINCINNATI, OH -- Adam Dunn's massage chair that had been removed from the clubhouse was returned to its spot today with a note of apology for the inconvenience.

Manager Dave Miley's removal of the chair from the clubhouse on Tuesday was a remarkably literal demonstration of the management's current message to players: don't get too comfortable. However, after concerns surfaced that Dunn wouldn't want to sign with the Reds because they took his chair, it was immediately returned.

“Things were a little too easy going around here for a while,” said Miley, “But Dunner's been strong all season so there's no reason for him not to lie about a little.”

Dunn, for one, was pleased to have the “poor little guy” back.

“I talked to the chair, and he said they treated him OK during his capture,” Dunn laughed, “Seriously, though, I'm glad to see that the organization is willing to coddle me. I don't think that anyone would want a career with a club that asks them not to have indulgent luxury items while the team is sinking like a stone.”

Casey Visits List Server
Sean Casey, who has been widely criticized for voicing his displeasure over the release of long-time friend Danny Graves, found a venue to express his frustration today when he logged on to Redzone.com.

“Folks seemed to think I should be happy to see my buddy fired or something,” said Casey, “But on-line I can complain about it as much as I want, everyone bitches about everything. It's sort of encouraged.”

I am having one of those days where I feel like I'm always just a little bit out of whack. I just can't seem to pull it together, so if you see a bunch of split infinitives and dangling participles in my posts today, you'll have to forgive me.

In the morning, Jon noticed that I had been mentioned in this review of Reds blogs. I was encouraged to see that everything the review had to say about Red Hot Mama, whether he thought it was positive or negative, was exactly what I was going for. I was a tad distraught that he introduced me like this:

Red Hot Mama is the “woman” blogger of the Reds.

Why is “woman” in quotes? Is he suggesting that I'm not really a woman? To anyone out there who doubts my lack of phallus, let me tell you that I will hunt you down and beat you like the dog that you are, and when I'm done…wait, that doesn't sound very feminine. I'd better rethink this.

Like always, I spent my lunch hour at the gym and watched ESPN. I can't be the only one that has noticed that ESPN gives a disproportionately small amount of time to Reds coverage. Surely one of you stats guys has counted up how many minutes they spend on each team; are there numbers to back me up here?

After lunch, I got an email from Jon, whom I am up against in fantasy baseball this week, saying that he was never going to beat me if Freel keeps up these heroics. A wave of shock hit me as I realized I'd forgotten about the game and had missed the first six innings. I got the GameDay up ASAP and skimmed through to try to get caught up, but it took me even longer to realize that Harang should have been pitching and have to do the research into why he wasn't, adding to the feeling that I'm just not with it today.

And here it is, almost 7 p.m., and I'm just now getting my post up for the day. Time to go have some supper and a glass of wine to collect my wits before writing today's fake news story. Hopefully I'll have my split infinitive issues worked out by then.