Daily Archives: September 8, 2006

September 8, 2006

The Pirates are Going Down

With the Reds starting off the season so hot this year, I really had to change my approach on Red Hot Mama. It's much more difficult to find snarky things to say when the biggest team story is the playoff hunt than when the biggest team story is a massage chair.

But now that all that's over and I'm dedicated to enjoying the freefall, my optimism can go back to being ludicrously baseless. So, with that in mind, I'm pleased to present the top ten reasons the Reds are going to win tonight:

10. After tonight's game, the Reds aren't on FSN again until next Tuesday. Juan Castro is going to do whatever it takes to get his screen time TONIGHT.

9. Since the news that Steve Stewart's contract won't be renewed, the Reds have gone 6-11. Now that he's gotten a little respect from Marty, the team is willing to try to work through their grief.

8. The Pirates have the best record in the NLC since the All-Star Break. That just ain't natural.

7. Now that everyone knows Eddie Guardado is out for the year, they can stop worrying about him and get down to the game at hand.

6. Kyle Lohse is going, and he's a proven starter.

5. If the Pirates put together a good second half, the Irate Fans will never be heard.

4. Their Man of the Year nominee has been arrested twice in the last two years. That's moxie, baby!

3. All of the Reds whose contracts come up this season will want to be showing off for Dave Littlefield. The Pirates do overpay for ex-Reds, after all.

2. They won't be distracted by Sean Casey going around hugging everyone for a change.

1. Ryan Franklin is da bomb.